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Adjusting To Life After Deployment

Just like deployment is a huge adjustment, so is reuniting. It sounds silly that you have to adjust to being married again, but deployment lasts a long time. You both develop routines, new habits, and get used to the single life. As excited as you are to be back together, you almost have to relearn how to be married to one another.

Our experience overall has been really good, but I thought it might be helpful to blog about the specifics for anyone about to welcome a spouse home or who recently finished deployment. Plus, I always love to look back and remember this stuff. :)

I'll preface this by saying this is all just my experience with adjusting to post-deployment life. Everyone is different because every couple is different. Parker was also deployed on land vice on a ship, meaning we were able to Facetime almost every day. We know how lucky we were to have this luxury, and I am sure the fact that we got to "see" each other throughout deployment made the adjustment that much easier. Lastly, we don't have any kids at home, which I fully believe would add a whole new element to the adjustment process. 

1. Homecoming

The first thing we did that was helpful (especially for me) was to not have anyone else there for the homecoming. I had friends advise against inviting anyone, and I went with their advice. As much as I adore our families, it would have made things a little harder having them around while Parker and I were getting reacquainted. We also lucked out that we are having a baby 2 months after Parker got home, so our families will come visit then. At first I thought maybe it was a selfish not to invite anyone else to come for the homecoming, but deployment is harder on the spouse (and kids if there are kids) than anyone else. You're the one most effected by a long shot, so I think it's an okay time to be a little selfish. 

2. Sleep

Sleeping together again was a small adjustment for the sheer fact that, since I'm so pregnant, I roll over approximately 3852 times per night, which wakes Parker up. He used to sleep a little more soundly... my bad! I also knew he had grown accustomed to sleeping with blackout curtains, which we didn't have, so I purchased new blackout curtains and hung them up before he got home. He really appreciated this!

3. TV Shows

This one sounds silly, but I had been watching girly shows for the past 7 months, and Parker had been watching man TV that I had absolutely no interest in. Instead of forcing the other to watch our shows, we both found new shows to watch together that we would both enjoy. We usually watch an episode of something each night, so finding a show we both like saved arguing about what to watch. Again, it sounds silly, but we had both just spent 7 months getting to be totally selfish and watch whatever we wanted.

4. Time Together, Time Apart, and Time With Others

When your husband comes home, there is this stigma that you need to spend every waking moment together. We love spending time together and are together as much as we can, but setting an unrealistic expectation of being together 24/7 is unreasonable and setting yourself up for failure. We took the first day back completely to ourselves and didn't Facetime any family or see any friends. The next day, friends invited us to dinner and we went. We were still together, but we had a fun night out with friends. Parker has also wanted to do little projects around the house like fix his computer that don't involve me, and that's fine. Just knowing he is in the next room makes me happy. The point is, getting back to normal life is good.

Overall, just having grace for each other throughout this post-deployment adjustment has made all the difference. Parker is so patient with me and so good to me and my ever-growing bump. I'm less independent than I was before he left, a whole lot bigger, and need way more sleep and downtime than I used to, and he has never once made me feel like I am lazy or unproductive.

Even though it's an adjustment, post-deployment life is so, so good. Seriously... so good. We have a deeper appreciation for our marriage and feel so blessed to just get to do life together again. If we could give anyone advice for life after deployment, it would be to just go with the flow. There may be a few bumps along the way, but isn't that true of life in general?


Life Lately

Happy Friday, yall! I wanted to do a little life lately post because life lately has just been so darn good. Deployment is not fun, and I am the first to admit that, but man is it wonderful when they come home! It's just been pure bliss ever since. Every day is so much fun having Parker home. 

We are pretty much back to our normal routine, but that's exactly what we both wanted. Normalcy. Even though life is pretty much back to normal, the days are sweeter and the time is just that much more joyful. Deployment is a lot of things, but it does give you a deeper appreciation for each other and for the gift of marriage. So here's life lately...

Parker's first night back, we celebrated with a dinner in our favorite part of the city at Ruth's Chris Steakhouse. So yummy! 



We celebrated our Christmas together the morning after Parker came home. I made our favorite cinnamon rolls (call us crazy, but we don't think anything beats Pillsbury in a can), played Christmas music, and we opened our stockings and presents. It was so fun getting to celebrate Christmas together!


The next day, we went to visit the ship Parker was deployed on (USS Eisenhower) to retrieve some things he had left on the ship. Since he flies the C-2, he is one of the few pilots that is land based and does not live on the ship. He spent the night on the ship every so often though. 


We had a nice little New Year's Eve celebration with some of our close friends. We had a lot to celebrate, mainly the fact that all three of our husbands were home to ring in 2017! Parker and I really thought this deployment was going to go until February, so getting to ring in the new year together was such a gift. 


Our husbands weren't the only ones getting kisses at midnight. Lots of kisses for baby too!


Pretty quickly after Parker got back, he started building a changing table for the baby. The project took him longer than he wanted it to, although I think 5 days seems pretty fast to me! He did such a good job. It's exactly what I wanted, and I love that he built it for his son. I helped provide entertainment during the building process and occasionally clamped something/drilled something/used the drill press/etc, but it was really all him, per usual. I love the finished product! We found one on Pottery Barn that we both liked, so Parker modeled the design after that. 



Snowmaggedon hit Virginia that weekend, so we were happily snowed in to binge watch Breaking Bad (we are behind the times), drink hot chocolate, and hang out with our favorite brown dog. She was pretty unimpressed with the snow, but what else is new? Something funny I want to remember: Parker is very protective of the bump and insisted I only be out in the snow for 5-10 minutes so the baby didn't get cold. I told him I was pretty sure the baby is very well insulated in there, but it made me laugh and fall in love with my husband that much more.


We have been doing date nights like they are going out of style (we are about to have a baby... for all intensive purposes, they are going out of style!), and we finally made it back to our favorite sushi restaurant. It's a fun little local place where they know us, so we always love going. We ordered all cooked rolls for me, but it was still so nice to have sushi again! We've decided it will be our first date night post-baby too!


Other than that, we've watched countless episodes of West World and Breaking Bad and seen three movies since he returned: Rogue One (neither of us really liked it, which was disappointing for my Star Wars loving husband), La La Land (we both really liked it), and Passengers (loved it). Tis the season for hot chocolate and TV shows!

That's life lately!


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