The Best Deployment Advice I Can Give

Deployment is coming to an end for us (hallelujah!), so I've spent the past couple of weeks reflecting on these past few months with Parker away. I've thought about all of the advice I was given before he left, what really helped and what ended up not resonating as much. I asked so many friends who had done deployment before me for advice. I wanted to be prepared, and I wanted to do everything I could on my end to set both Parker and myself up for a successful deployment.

The most common piece of advice you will get is this: stay busy.

That's good advice, yall, but it's kind of a given. Obviously the busier you stay, the more distracted you are, and the faster time flies. It's science or something like that. While I do think anyone going through deployment should try to stay as busy as they can, it's not an end-all-be-all solution to conquering deployment. Inevitably, no matter how busy you stay, you will still have more lonely evenings on the couch with nothing to do than you care to count. 

If I could offer up one single piece of advice to anyone going through a deployment in the future, it's this: stay positive. 

Military life (really life in general) is what you make it, and deployment is no different. Circumstances aren't ideal and life is not always going to look how you envisioned it. You have a choice. You can either accept the curveballs and see the beauty in them, or you can let them make you completely and utterly miserable. Yall, don't choose the latter. 

I am the first to tell you that deployment sucks. I mean, really, let's call a spade a spade. Nobody gets married just to send their spouse into harm's way for 6-10 months at a time. It's unnatural, it's hard, and it sucks. But any situation, no matter how hard it is, has a silver lining if you are willing to see it. 

When deployment gets hard, and it will, focus on the positives. Focus on the positive that you have a spouse you love so much that makes saying goodbye so hard. Focus on the positive that deployment is just a season- it's not forever. Focus on the positive that he will come home, and it will be more magical than your wedding day (so I'm told, anyway!). Comparison is the thief of joy, so don't compare yourself to friends who don't have to deal with deployment. Good for them. Instead, focus on how strong you are for dealing with it. It takes a strong person to get through deployment, and you should be really proud of yourself. 

Each day is one day closer. That homecoming date, no matter how far off it seems, will get here. Deployment is just a season, but don't let it be a bitter one. As ready as I am for this chapter to be over for us, I don't regret it happening. The past 6 months have given me opportunities and gifts I wouldn't have had otherwise, and I choose to focus on that rather than the empty seat at the dinner table. That seat will soon be filled. So to anyone about to embark upon a similar journey: chin up, friend. Stay positive, live life to the fullest, and he will be home before you know it.

I told Parker about this post, and he agreed on the positivity thing, but he also had one of his own. The best deployment advice he has for fellow servicemen going on deployment and leaving a spouse behind: get your wife a dog. 

Amen, hubs. 

Choose Joy

There is something about January. It's a time for fresh starts and new goals and all of that good stuff. I've said before that I don't really do new years resolutions, and that is still true, but I love coming up with new goals that will better me as a person. 

Since we are almost out of January (where the heck did this month go?!), I thought I would share my goal for the year. It's simple, really. 

Choose joy. 

I've come to realize that joy isn't just an involuntary reaction. It's a choice. We have the power to see joy in every situation just like we have the power to see the negative. I am taking a page out of my husband's book here since he is so good at seeing the positive. I want to make a cognitive effort every day to choose joy. 

When it's freezing or raining outside and all I want to do is take a walk with some vitamin D...

When work gets stressful...

When I really don't feel like cleaning...

When I don't feel pretty...

When my husband is driving me bananas...

When I miss my daughter...

When life throws the tough stuff...

I want to choose joy. 

This is my goal for the year. I firmly believe that joy can be found in every situation if we are willing to see it. So let's do this, 2016. Let's find the joy. 

Do you have a word or phrase you are focusing on this year?

Living Life For Now

Does anyone feel like they are in a waiting season of life? Whether it's waiting to find a spouse, waiting to have a baby, waiting for your spouse to return from deployment or anything else, so many of us are waiting. 

I have felt like I am in a season of waiting. I still want to have a baby and finally feel like I am in a place where I can do so after losing our first child, but the timing just isn't quite right. For several reasons (the military being the main one), we have decided to wait for a little bit. I do feel like this is the best decision for our family and for my husband, but waiting is tough. Part of me just wants to fast forward a couple of years to the season of life that hopefully includes tiny footsteps in the hallway and toys all over the floor. 

The problem is, waiting can consume us. If I put all of my energy into focusing on what I am waiting for, life will pass me by. If I live life just waiting for babies, I'll miss out on the here and now. Waiting takes patience, which my husband will tell you is not my strongest attribute. Many times, waiting also becomes more difficult as we compare ourselves to others who have what we are waiting on. Sometimes it feels like everyone has a baby but me. I know that's not true, and God-willing one day it will be my turn, but comparing my situation to the mamas of tiny humans isn't doing myself any favors. 

I had a moment of clarity the other day. I was chopping vegetables in my kitchen with music playing throughout the house, and Parker was giving Jenny a rib as she anxiously licked her lips. I looked around my beautiful new house and realized just how blessed I am in this very season of life. It's a beautiful season, and I don't want to wish it by waiting for what I don't yet have. These moments are passing quickly, and we can never get them back. 

Today, I want to challenge you to live life for now. We are all waiting on something, and maybe that season you are waiting on will bring you great happiness, but don't forget to find the joy in today. As crazy as it sounds, I miss the period right after I lost our first baby. It was all so raw and so real, and I learned so much about myself and what I am capable of through that journey. That period is over, and wishing it away was a mistake. No more mistakes. Stop waiting, stop wishing, and start living. 

We don't know how many days we get here on this earth, so make today count. Enjoy this season! Live life for now. 

This picture represents the season of life we are in, and I am treasuring each moment.

Enjoy The Little Moments

This is going to be short and sweet today. It's Monday, which is arguably the most dreaded day of the week. We have a full 5 days of work, stress, and lack of sleep ahead of us before we reach that golden Friday once again. Womp womp womp.

My challenge for you all today is to enjoy the little moments. 

A 5 minute uplifting conversation with a co-worker. 

Hugging your babies goodbye before you leave work.

That barista at Starbucks who complemented your earrings. 

Your dog's tail wagging nonstop as you walk through the door at the end of your day.

There are going to be things to smile about today if you let there be. 

This past weekend, Parker had to go into work every single day. It wasn't the most fun weekend ever, but we got to have a date night on Saturday that completely made our weekend. Just a little dinner and trip to the movies (Mission Impossible 5- go see it now) completely rejuvenated us and gave us something to smile about. It's easy to focus on the fact that he was gone more than he was home this weekend, but the little moments we did get together made it all worth it. 

There are going to be so many little moments worth enjoying today. Take a deep breath and go conquer Monday like a boss! (If I could insert a fist pump emoji here, I totally would). 

Parker's Motivation Blog Post, Version 1.1

Parker decided to get his blogging on and provide a little motivation on this fine Monday. I always like when he takes over the blog for the day, and I really enjoyed reading this latest post that he cooked up. Happy Monday, friends, and take it away, husband!

......................

Parker here! It’s Monday, and hopefully you are looking forward to the upcoming week! If not, that is perfectly okay! If you want a little motivation for the week, this quote is for you:

“A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step”

- Lao-tzu

It is not a long quote, but a profound one! I personally “discovered” this quote during what I perceived to be a very difficult part of flight school. At the time I was learning how to fly the T-45 goshawk, and it seemed like this was a herculean task. There was so much to learn and do simultaneously that it felt like the Navy had stuck a fire hose in my mouth and let it rip. I had to learn the systems of the plane, the rules for flying in the local area, the wing SOP, the squadron SOP, NATOPS procedures, etc. I had a library of books to read and no time to read them!

Ironically enough, I saw this quote in the email signature of one of my classmates. I am not sure if he placed it there specifically for our class (we all felt equally overwhelmed) or if it had been his signature for a while. Nonetheless, this quote gave me that extra surge of motivation to help me take little steps, no matter how small, that got me through the beginning of a difficult syllabus.

My point today isn’t to talk about Naval Aviation. My point is to remind you that every step you take counts. It may seem like your goals are far off or unachievable, but the truth is: they are not! You can do ANYTHING you put your mind to by taking baby steps in the right direction. It may seem like I am blowing smoke up your ... teepee  ... but I know this is true from first hand experience! Don’t let fear or anxiety be the reason you never succeeded!

Parker

PS

If you don’t have any cool goals in mind, here are a few fun ideas to get started:

• Learn a new language
• Get in shape
• Volunteer at a local church
• Eat lots of hot dogs (maybe this isn’t the best idea)

PSS

This is “Parker’s Motivation Blog Post 1.1” because Chelsea didn’t approve of 1.0. Apparently coming on strong with motivation is just “intimidating”.