Military Mondays: Tips for Having A Career As A Military Spouse

Happy Monday! I have had a few people email me over the last few weeks asking for tips on having a career as a military spouse. I thought today would be a perfect chance to dedicate this Military Mondays post to that topic.

I have mentioned before on this blog that I work from home and have been blessed with a job that has gone with me wherever we go. Having a career as a military spouse isn't always easy and can prove very, very difficult to find, but I thought I would take today to share a few tips and pieces of advice for having that career while moving every few years. 

A little backstory... I started out working for a company in College Station, TX (where Texas A&M is located) right after I graduated. Parker and I were engaged, and he still had a year until he graduated and commissioned into the military. I took a job in that city so we wouldn't have to be long distance, knowing I would likely be quitting a year later to start our military journey. 7 years later, I still work for that same wonderful company. 

I am not going to sit here and say that if you follow these tips, you'll have a steady career while being a military wife. Luck and timing play a part in it too, but here are some tips that could definitely be of help. 

1. The #1 tip I could give anyone: do NOT mention the military in your interview. 

Companies don't want to hire military spouses because they know you may not be there long. Legally, companies are not allowed to ask if your significant other is in the military, but many will, especially if you are wearing a wedding or engagement ring. The company I work for today saw my engagement ring and asked what my fiance was planning on doing after graduation. I kept it vague and said he wasn't sure. 

I don't want to promote lying here, but there are ways to vaguely answer the question "What brings you to Pensacola?" or "What does your significant other do?". Examples:

- "He isn't sure yet what he wants to do"

- "He works in the city"

- "I just moved here and am excited to experience a new city. I am young and want to broaden my horizons, so I am excited to be here"

2. Some jobs are more easily transferrable than others. 

Administrative jobs are on the easier end of the spectrum to get. Nursing is another good one that you can do anywhere. Teaching is harder because, while you always need teachers, I *think* you have to get certified in every state you teach in. I interned for Enterprise Rent A Car in college, and that's something I literally could have done anywhere. Look into the type of work that transfers easily and the companies that have offices everywhere. 

3. Research work from home options. 

Talk to friends who work from home. There are ways to work from home without doing direct selling on Facebook (not that there is anything wrong with that at all). A good example is VIPKID. This is an online tutoring program that is pretty flexible and can be done anywhere. They pay well, and you just need a bachelor's degree to do it. I have several friends that work for VIPKID. There are other options like this out there if you're willing to do a little research. 

4. If you are currently working and know you are about to move for the military, ask your employer if you can work remotely. 

This is 2018, yall. Many jobs can be done remotely. Instead of going into my boss's office to let him know I needed to quit, I instead walked in and asked if I could work remotely from another state. It is nerveracking and can feel awkward, but the worst that can happen is they say no. You never know, they may say yes. Go in there confident in the work you do and ready to pitch why it's in the company's best interest to let you keep your job. 

5. Be flexible. 

You may not get to work in your field, and you may not make as much money as you would if you were in a big city long-term. If you go in demanding to make as much as your civilian counterparts in the exact field you majored in, you're going to have a tough time. Go in open minded and stay positive. 

Alright guys, I realize this was long, but I wanted to pack it with as much information as I could. I know it can be hard to have a career and follow your significant other around the country, but you can do it! 

Join The Navy, See The World

It's a common phrase in the Navy. "Join the Navy, see the world". Parker says it every time he goes on another Navy-sanctioned field trip.

I thought it would be fun today to share where in the world he has actually been! I've joined him on a small handful of these trips, but I pale in comparison as a world traveler to this guy. The Navy isn't always rainbows and sunshine, but there are a lot of wonderful perks, and traveling is one of them!

Note: An alternative title to this post could have been: "Selfies with Parker". When you're in a cool place by yourself, selfie or it didn't happen. ;)

I'm going to skip the places we have been stationed in Texas because we are from Texas, so that's not so much seeing the world and more just moving a couple of hours down the road.


Egypt

Parker got a cool opportunity to travel to Egypt and Morocco while he was still at Texas A&M with the Corps of Cadets. It's not every day you get to ride a camel around the pyramids.

Morocco

He got to stay with a family in Morocco and really submerge into the culture. Such a cool opportunity.

Hawaii

Parker went to Hawaii for one of his summer cruises (a Navy cruise, not the fun kind with margaritas) as a midshipman. He started a tradition where he brings this A&M flag with him when he travels so he can write the location and date of his trip on the left side.

Pensacola, Florida

This was our first big move away from Texas. We moved to Pensacola in January 2012 and lived there for 16 months. Parker started flight school there, and we made friends that we will have for a lifetime. All flight students start out in Pensacola, and the Navy really spoils you with that one. There aren't too many places that are better to get stationed than Pensacola, Fl! To top it off, my twin's husband was in the Navy at the time,and they were stationed an hour away. It was awesome!

Virginia Beach, Virginia

Ah, home away from home. We can't believe how much that place became home. In some ways, it feels more home than Texas, but it wasn't because of the location. It was because of the people. We miss our people in Virginia every day. We also miss all the greenery and trees everywhere! Virginia is beautiful!

Jacksonville, Florida

Parker had to spend a month in Jacksonville in April 2016 right before he deployed, and he was staying in a hotel on base that looked out onto the beach. Needless to say, Jenny and I hopped in the car and drove 9 hours to spend a week with him. He worked during the day, so Jenny and I roamed around the beach while we waited for him to get back to the hotel. That was such a fun week for all 3 of us.

Rota, Spain

Parker's first stop on deployment was Rota, Spain. He stayed there a few days before moving on to Italy, but he really enjoyed Spain while he was there! It was June, so nice and warm!

Rome, Italy

Parker's next stop was Naples, Italy, but he didn't have many pictures from that stop so here are pictures from his next visit to Rome. He got to see the Vatican and the Colosseum!

Crete

His final stop before arriving in Bahrain, where he would stay for 6 months, was the island of Crete. His hotel had views of the Mediterranean Sea, and everything was beautiful. He would have loved to spend his entire deployment there (wouldn't everyone!), but he stayed a couple of weeks before leaving for Bahrain.

Manama, Bahrain

Bahrain became home for 6 months. Parker was land based for deployment, so he actually stayed in Bahrain and not on a ship. It was incredibly hot in the summer (over 110 degrees many days) with no breeze or trees around. They speak Arabic there, and the people were very friendly. I actually flew to see Parker on deployment and got to stay in Bahrain for a week. It was the highlight of deployment for him and such a cool experience for both of us.

Granada, Spain

Parker stayed in Spain a few days before heading back to America after 7 months away. It was December for this trip, so he got to see some snow in the mountains!

The Navy has treated that husband of mine (and me too) to some pretty cool trips! We are excited to see where they take us next! 

Dear Future Military Spouse,

Maybe this was the direction you've always wanted your life to go. You are entering into a world of adventure, travel, and love with your best friend, and you are so ready to get this military journey started. Or maybe, you're like I was. You grew up in a small town and lived minutes from family and could have never imagined packing up and moving across the country after graduation. 

Maybe you grew up dreaming of the white picket fence. You wanted a husband with an 8-5 job, toddling kiddos, and grandparents that live right down the road. And now you're looking at your future realizing that will not be your reality. And it's scary. 

I want to take today to give three pieces of advice, from one military spouse to another. Take it or leave it, but these are things I wish someone would have told me. 

The first, and easily the most important, is that you have a choice to make. Right here, right now, you get to choose how much you are going to like military life. You get to decide if you will just survive or if you will thrive. Choose to thrive. See the joy and the good and relish in the adventure. You get one life, so don't waste your time being upset about the things you can't control. 

Secondly, don't compare. Don't keep a list of "things I can't do because we are in the military". Don't envy your friends back home for their "normal" lives. Don't resent them for whining about missing their husbands for a weekend when yours has been deployed 8 months. Comparison is the thief of joy, so focus on you, and surround yourself with people who will encourage you and build you up. 

Thirdly, and this is easily the most vague and cliche, but enjoy this. Seriously, enjoy it! You are going to travel the country and maybe even the world. You are going to move to cool places and meet new, fun people you never would have known otherwise. You are going to realize your strength through deployment and join the ranks of the few that get to experience one of life's greatest joys: homecoming. Military life is one great adventure, so enjoy the crap out of it. 

Future military spouse, this life won't always be easy, but it will be amazing. Congratulations on an exciting adventure ahead. I'm rooting for you to love it as much as I have. 

Sincerely, 

A military spouse of 7 years that couldn't imagine life any other way

Military Mondays: What I Learned From Our First Fleet Tour

It's time for another Military Mondays post, and now that we are officially done with our first fleet tour and onto shore duty, I thought I would reflect on what I learned over the past three years and how it grew and changed us as a family. For those that don't know, the fleet tour for an aviator is the three year period immediately following training where the pilot is placed in a squadron. This is when they deploy and carry out the missions they've been trained to do. The training wheels are off, and it's the big leagues!

1. Deployment is awful, but I also learned more about myself in those 7 months of separation than I ever thought possible. 

I went into deployment thinking of it as a game. Either it was going to win, or I was. Either I was going to survive, or I was going to thrive. There were hard days, tears, frustration, you name it... being away from my husband was hard, but I didn't want to just wish 7 months of my life away and be miserable. I tried to live life as much as I could, and I came out much stronger and more independent than I knew I was capable of.

Pro tip: Get a dog. They make deployment 1000x more doable. 

2. Homecoming is better than your wedding day.

Seriously, it's just the best day. It's a moment you have played over in your head a thousand times, and there is not a single feeling in the world like being back in the arms of the one you love, knowing they made it home safely.

Pro tip: If you gain 30 pounds over deployment, give him a little heads up before the big reunion. 

3. The friends you meet over this period will be some of the best friends you ever make.

There is nothing that bonds you like going through a deployment together. The girls in our fleet squadron and in our training squadron right before the fleet made Virginia home for me. They truly became my family. We took care of each other, checked up on each other, and supported each other when we knew the answer to "How are you doing?" was "terrible, eating cake". I could write a novel about how richly the people I met in Virginia have impacted my life for the better.

Pro tip: Find people like this and never let them go. If they all stay in Virginia, don't move to Texas.

The fleet tour has (like everything) so many ups and downs, but (again, like everything), the positives are there in abundance if you're willing to see them. I look back on our three years in the fleet and honestly loved every minute of it... even the not so fun parts. It was one heck of a journey!

Winging Gifts for the Naval Aviator

This feels like a random post to write because my husband earned his wings of gold 4 years ago, but I get so many emails asking where I purchased the gifts pictured in this post, so I thought I would write out the details for any fellow aviator spouses out there.

It can be hard to figure out what to get those aviators for their winging or other special occasions, but these are some of the most popular gifts that you can't go wrong with!

Model Airplanes

I have purchased a model of every plane Parker has flown, and he loves this. Each plane represents a different stage in his Navy career and brings back memories of that chapter. We have the T-6, the T-45, the T-44, and the C-2. A few places I have purchased them are Wings in Pensacola, FL (website here),  the NEX (most Navy Exchanges have the models of the planes flown on that base), and Squadron Toys (website here).  My favorite place to purchase them is Squadron Toys because you can get the squadron logo on the base. This makes it all the more special for the aviator!

14K Gold Wings

This is easily the most expensive item on this list, but it can be a really neat gift if it is in the budget. Pilots are given plastic wings at their winging. These wings are earned following countless hours of flying and studying, and the real 14k gold wings are pretty spectacular. The pilot won't wear the wings very often since wings are only worn with the formal uniforms, but having the beautiful 14k gold wings makes wearing the formal uniforms all the more special! The best place I know to purchase these is Wings in Pensacola, FL (website here).

iPad Mini

Another very practical gift is the iPad mini. An iPad mini is great for the cockpit because pilots can access charts and publications without having to handle bulky paper products. It reduces the weight of their helmet bag while saving space. If you want to go the extra mile, you can purchase an iPad mini, cellular version. This includes a GPS, so that even if cellular data is not activated, pilots can see themselves on a moving map in flight. If cellular data is activated, they can also update weather and file flight plans on the go. The bigger storage is also ideal because the aviator can store more charts and publications (website here).

Side note: Big thanks to my husband for the description on this one. I have very little idea of what I just wrote. ;)

Kneeboard for the iPad

If you gift the iPad mini, or your aviator already has the iPad mini, another great gift is the kneeboard that the iPad clicks into (website here or here depending on which iPad mini they have).

Personalized Helmet Bag

All Naval Aviators have a helmet bag of some sort. Most use the standard forest green helmet bag. Something neat you can do is order a personalized helmet bag with the wings and their name on it. It's the standard bag, but the wings and name are embroidered in gold (website here).

Parker's bag is several years old and has seen better days, but I couldn't find a picture online of what one looked like for reference, so here you go!

Subscription for ForeFlight

ForeFlight is an app for the iPad and iPhone that allows the pilot to see charts and other publications required for instrument and visual flying. The subscription grants them access to all of the required documents while saving space in their helmet bag. There are three different plans, and the basic plan has everything they need. The pro and performance plus are great too, but the basic has all of the, well, basics (website here).

I hope this helps! Feel free to email me with any questions! If I don't know the answer (which is likely), I have a husband that probably will. :)