In my mind, deployment meant separation. How can he be excited to be separated for months on end? Does he not love me as much as I love him? Who actually wants to leave their wife???
These were the thoughts that ran through my brain every time I heard my husband mention wanting to deploy. These are natural thoughts, and I highly doubt I'm the first one to think them. Deployment is a scary, scary thing, and nobody gets married just to say "see you later" to their husband for the better part of a year.
It took standing beside Parker in training and watching him take pride in his accomplishments to understand what "I can't wait to deploy" really means. It doesn't mean "I hate my wife". In fact, it has absolutely nothing to do with me. He has been training for over 4 years for this moment. Countless hours of studying, practicing in the simulator, and flying will pay off when he finally gets to serve his country the way that he wants to. His dream wasn't just to join the military. It was to serve his country. And serving his country means going on deployment.
Having this revelation has been such a game changer for our marriage. I actually love that my husband can't wait to deploy. It makes my heart swell with pride and makes it just a little bit easier to say that "see you later". It's a lot harder to send a husband off to serve our country when he really doesn't want to go. When the day does come for me to send him off to deployment, I am so glad I will be sending someone away who is excited to serve. It's going to make it so much easier on both of us.
A lot of the pilots in Parker's squadron share his enthusiasm for deployment, and I love that. There have been one or two that look at him funny and say "Why would you be excited? You want to leave your wife?". This perspective makes me so sad, because of course he doesn't want to leave me. Of course he is going to miss me. Of course he loves me just as much as I love him.
My point is this: wanting to serve your country and loving your wife are not mutually exclusive.
If you are having a hard time with the concept of deployment and don't understand how your husband could be excited to go, I get it. Trust me, I was there not too long ago. I would encourage you to think about it more. When you do, you'll hopefully come to realize that excitement to serve is the best attitude either of you could hope for.