I have felt like I am in a season of waiting. I still want to have a baby and finally feel like I am in a place where I can do so after losing our first child, but the timing just isn't quite right. For several reasons (the military being the main one), we have decided to wait for a little bit. I do feel like this is the best decision for our family and for my husband, but waiting is tough. Part of me just wants to fast forward a couple of years to the season of life that hopefully includes tiny footsteps in the hallway and toys all over the floor.
The problem is, waiting can consume us. If I put all of my energy into focusing on what I am waiting for, life will pass me by. If I live life just waiting for babies, I'll miss out on the here and now. Waiting takes patience, which my husband will tell you is not my strongest attribute. Many times, waiting also becomes more difficult as we compare ourselves to others who have what we are waiting on. Sometimes it feels like everyone has a baby but me. I know that's not true, and God-willing one day it will be my turn, but comparing my situation to the mamas of tiny humans isn't doing myself any favors.
I had a moment of clarity the other day. I was chopping vegetables in my kitchen with music playing throughout the house, and Parker was giving Jenny a rib as she anxiously licked her lips. I looked around my beautiful new house and realized just how blessed I am in this very season of life. It's a beautiful season, and I don't want to wish it by waiting for what I don't yet have. These moments are passing quickly, and we can never get them back.
Today, I want to challenge you to live life for now. We are all waiting on something, and maybe that season you are waiting on will bring you great happiness, but don't forget to find the joy in today. As crazy as it sounds, I miss the period right after I lost our first baby. It was all so raw and so real, and I learned so much about myself and what I am capable of through that journey. That period is over, and wishing it away was a mistake. No more mistakes. Stop waiting, stop wishing, and start living.
We don't know how many days we get here on this earth, so make today count. Enjoy this season! Live life for now.
This picture represents the season of life we are in, and I am treasuring each moment.