Life Without Cable And The Bachelor Without Cheesy Music

Parker and I took the plunge and decided to get rid of cable back in 2013. We were paying $100 a month and just didn't feel like we watched enough TV to justify that. So we cut the cord. We told the cable company "It's not you, it's us"... but really it's you. We lived without it for about 9 months until it was football season. Then, all bets were off, and we needed our cable.
Parker and I are not avid sports watchers. We don't watch basketball, baseball, soccer, or even the NFL, but college football has our hearts... and our $50 a month for cable. That's right, we took the plunge again. We did manage to cut our bill in half the second time around (we started with DirectTV and ended with Cox for those that are curious), so that was a plus. The great thing about Cox is they didn't make us enter into a contract. We knew we were only going to pay for cable through the end of football season, and we would be back to our streaming, cableless lives in January.  

Thankfully, Rosie the Riveter was there to tell us that we could, in fact, do it. We could live without cable.

Honestly, living without cable is so easy for us. The biggest reason to have cable, in my opinion, is sports. Since we don't really watch sports, it was an easy thing to give up. I will say the one thing I miss is the DVR. Spoiled, first-world child alert: it's nice to be able to fast forward through those commercials. The DVR was nice, but the commercials are really minimized with Hulu anyway, so it's not so bad. While we are on the subject of Hulu, I totally did not understand the point of Hulu plus. Unless you want to binge-watch a show from the first season (Hulu Plus has multiple seasons of a lot of shows), you could watch the recent episodes of all of your favorite shows with regular free Hulu. At least, that's how it was in the good old days. I got on Hulu the day after the first episode of the Bachelor aired to watch it, and it said it wouldn't be available for another week. WHAT? I can't wait that long for the drama! I immediately texted Parker to let him know $8 per month would be coming out of our accounts for the foreseeable future because I had to watch the Bachelor. So, Hulu did something really smart. They took away the redeeming qualities of regular Hulu and reassigned those qualities to the not-so-free Hulu Plus. Well played, Hulu. Well played.
I do have to share a funny story with this. Parker and I have surround sound, but somehow the surround sound was put to a different setting or not working properly or something. I can barely turn the silly thing on, but Parker knows. Anyway, I'll omit the technical details. So we started watching the Bachelor one fine Monday evening (He would like for me to point out that he does not condone this show. I'd like to point out that I think he secretly loves it.). After a couple of minutes of trying to figure out why it seemed like unedited, raw footage, we realized we couldn't hear any background music. We could hear voices loud and clear, the wind blowing, etc, but the cheesy background music that really makes the show was gone. It. was. painful. Parker figured out how to fix the sound after the show was over. Talk about a great person to have around 5 minutes after a crisis. I don't recommend watching The Bachelor without the background music. I just don't. 
This isn't the best example, but check out a clip from the rose ceremony without the suspenseful background music. Not so suspenseful. 

To sum up, life without cable is still life, and I recommend it. However, The Bachelor without the background music is most definitely not The Bachelor we girls are all addicted to. 
Also, if you are thinking about getting rid of cable, apparently Dish just released a new deal where you can get most of your favorite channels (HGTV, ABCFamily, all the basics, etc) for $20 per month. You can then add on all the sports channels for another $5 a month. Dish did not put me up to saying this and has no idea who I am, but we will be taking advantage of this come college football season 2015, so I wanted to pass on the good deal. 
Do you have cable? If you do, do you think life would be the same without it?

Leaving a Legacy

Parker and I revealed we were pregnant to family, friends, and the world weeks before we found out we were having a girl. It was always fun to ask family and friends what they thought the baby was, what they hoped the baby was, etc. I can honestly say I didn't care. I just wanted to be a mom and pray I will get to be a mom to both genders one day. However, a few people made comments about wanting a boy first to carry on the family name. I never said anything, but secretly this drove me nuts. 
Here's why...
We all want to leave a legacy on this Earth before we leave it. We want to be remembered and loved, and we want others to be proud of the life we lived. I don't want to be remembered for my last name. A name is just a name, but our character is what makes a difference. My parents have instilled the values of kindness, selflessness, and honesty in my sisters and me ever since we were little. We aren't perfect people and have all messed up six ways to Sunday, but we were taught and encouraged to be Christians who love the Lord and love people. That's the legacy I want to pass onto my kids. My children will have a different last name than I did growing up, but Parker and I want to teach them to live like Jesus instructed us to live. We want them to choose right from wrong and we want them to do what's right even when it's not what's easy. That is our hope and prayer for our future kids, not that they pass down our last name. 
I have four sisters which means my maiden name will not be carried onto future generations in our direct line. My maiden name isn't even my rightful name if you want to get technical because my great-grandfather was adopted. If Parker and I have all girls (we've got one already!), our last name will not be passed down either. We both really hope we have a son one day, but the last reason we want a son is to pass down the family name. 
Your legacy is entirely dependent on you, and I kind of love that. You aren't responsible for mistakes made throughout family history, and your kids won't be responsible for mistakes you made. You get to decide how people remember you. I challenge each of you to show love to someone you encounter today. Hold the door open at the supermarket. Pay for the person's drink in the drive-thru line behind you. Send someone at work an encouraging email to let them know you appreciate them. We get to choose who we are, and we get to choose the legacy we leave behind. Make it a good one. 

My sisters and I all together for Thanksgiving last year! As one sister said, "If we were in the Hunger Games, I'd volunteer as tribute for each one of you". Love these three!

Confession: A Major Controvery In Our Marriage

Ya know, they always say marriage is about compromise. We've been doing this whole marriage thing for three years now, and I can safely say that compromise does play a huge role in marriage, especially in those beginning stages. From little changes to big changes, we had to meet in the middle on a lot of things. 

He grew up on 2% milk. I grew up on skim milk. We now buy 1%. Easy compromise. He loves to watch movies as loud as possible but starts the volume out at a normal decibel because he knows instantly loud TVs drive me nuts. I haven't ever had the chance to cook with shrimp, my favorite seafood, because I know he doesn't like it. These are all little things, but they are areas that took adapting for one or both of us. 

There is one area, however, where we have not been able to agree: peanut butter.

 

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Yes, a huge controversy in our marriage involves deliciously tasting peanut butter. I eat a PB&J about 4 days out of the week, and crunchy peanut butter (JIF all the way), soft bread, and strawberry jelly will never stop being the trifecta. He is all about the creamy peanut butter and eats it with apples or on a sandwich. He won't touch the crunchy stuff.

This is not an area where we have compromised. I buy two jars of peanut butter- one creamy and one crunchy. The other day, Parker and I revisited the debate and I asked him to specifically identify why he liked creamy so much more. He said it obviously wasn't about taste because both peanut butters are made of the exact same ingredients in different forms, so it just comes down to consistency. Okay, my thoughts exactly! Who wouldn't want to add a little extra crunch to their lunch?! I think he's in the minority and that everyone agrees crunchy is better. He thinks I'm nuts for liking the nuttier option (pun somewhat intended).

So friends, please weigh in. We really want to know which one of us is in the majority and which one of us is in denial. So answer this: crunchy or creamy? And please do not say almond butter... it's so not the same.

PS: I realize we are certifiably insane. Welcome to our life.

Comparison Is The Thief Of Joy

This blog post has been on my mind the past few days. Lately, I feel like the name of the game is to compare ourselves to others. I don't necessarily see a trend in comparing ourselves to the less fortunate, but more so comparing ourselves to those we deem more fortunate than us. Here's the thing:

Comparison is the thief of joy. 

Terrible example, but let's go with this: I was watching Bachelor in Paradise on Monday (judge away, friends). Three girls went on dates. All three girls thought they had a good time, until two of the girls started going into the details of what happened on their dates. The third girl then felt her date was inadequate, got sad, and broke up with the guy. She compared herself to the other girls and decided she had a bad date. I know, terrible example, but you get it, right?

I think some people look at Parker and me and think we have the perfect life. A few of our friends in college thought we had the perfect relationship and never fought. Some of our friends now think that, and I think it probably looks that way on this blog too. I'm not here to highlight the negatives, but nobody really knows the real story because a marriage is between two people, not the world. Yes, we have a pretty awesome relationship, and he is my greatest blessing in life and I am his, but that doesn't mean we don't fight. That doesn't mean we don't disagree on the stupidest things and blow it out of proportion. That doesn't mean we don't enjoy doing things on our own from time to time. I would really hate for someone to compare their relationship to ours because they have no idea how our relationship works: they aren't in it. 

 

We are all on different timelines in this life. Some of us get married when we are 20. Others get married when they're 35. Some never get married. The same goes with having kids. Instead of wishing we were given someone else's time table in life, we need to find the positives and blessings in the journey God has laid out for us. I know I have envied those who are able to buy a house and settle down, because that's not in the cards for us for a long time. But you know what? We get to see the world. We get to make memories in many different homes. There are positives in our journey just like their are positives for those who get to settle down sooner in life. 

So friends, stop comparing. It brings out an unhappiness that we can eliminate if only we look for the blessings. And yall, there are so so many blessings.

Putting Down The iPhone

I feel like this is such an issue with our generation. Our phones are like oxygen and we need them 24/7. I can't remember where I heard this, but someone was talking about how kids on school buses are just silent now and play on their phones the entire ride to/from school. It kind of made me sad. I was that kid that loved riding the school bus and getting to talk to my friends before and after school. My sister and I actually asked my mom not to pick us up from school so we could ride the bus. It was a social thing where we all told jokes and swapped stories. (I promise I'm only 25. I feel like I seriously dated myself with that last statement. Moving on...) I can totally see how kids nowadays just sit there in silence and play on their phones. We are addicted.

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I used to be able to just sit there and watch TV. Now, I watch a show and decide to scroll through Instagram while I listen. Don't get me wrong, I think technology is great. There is definitely a time and a place for social media and phone games, but I don't think that is all the time. 

I have gotten into a bad habit of having my phone with me everywhere. Does anyone else feel naked without their cell phone? Seriously, it's a problem. I don't think I'm alone in this either. I think most of my generation can agree that we can't remember what life was like before the smartphone came out. What did we do when we were in a waiting room or on a bus or hanging out with friends? Oh yeah, we socialized. What a novel concept that is.

Yesterday, I decided there needs to be limits. I'll still have my phone with me most of the time, but when Parker and I are hanging out or having a conversation, the phone stays in my pocket. When we are out to dinner with friends, the phone stays in my pocket. This may seem silly and trivial, but I think it will make a world of difference. When I am glued to my phone, I am missing out on real life. Having a conversation with my husband should be just that: a conversation with my husband. It shouldn't be a conversation with my husband while responding to texts and Facebook comments. I owe him the respect of my full attention. I know I hate it when I am trying to tell him something I feel is important and he is half-listening while reading an article on Facebook. I expect his attention when we are talking, so why shouldn't he expect the same from me?

From here on out, I am making a conscious effort to live in the moment and not in the phone screen. Like I said before, social media is a great tool. I love staying connected to friends and family and seeing what everyone is up to. There is a time and a place, and I just need to remember that the time is not with my husband, and the place is not out to dinner.

Life moves pretty fast. If you don't put down the phone once in a while, you could miss it. I am pretty sure that is how a modern-day Ferris Bueller would say it.

My Life Is Over: I Got Married Before I Turned 23... Wait, What?

Has anyone seen the article about 23 things to do instead of getting engaged before you're 23? It's circulated Facebook for the past week. I hadn't read it, but my husband skimmed the article and immediately said " You should write a blog post about this". I didn't pay much attention to the idea but asked him to send me the article so I could read it. Sitting here having read the thing, I am beyond annoyed. You can read the article here, but in a nutshell it is a list of reasons why young marriages don't work and should never happen in the first place.

The author is completely entitled to her opinion, and I respect the fact that she wants more time to figure out who she is and what she wants in life before getting married. That's fine. That's her. This is me: I got engaged when I was 21 and married when I was 22. My husband and I are 24 and (gasp) still happily married. That is the story God wrote for us. We met early, fell in love early, and got married early. If Parker and I knew we were meant for each other and wholeheartedly felt ready for the commitment of marriage, what is the point of waiting? So I can "make out with a stranger" or "date two guys at one time and wait for it to blow up in my face"? Those are 2 of the author's reasons for waiting to get engaged. That lifestyle isn't for me. I may be naive. I may have gotten married before traveling the world or dating a sea of men. I may not have a ton of life experience under my belt. But you know what? I am so happy. Being married to Parker brings me so much joy. Instead of traveling the world alone and discovering what makes me happy on my own, I get to do it with my best friend.

When I see lists of things to do before you get married, I usually laugh. 9 times out of 10, the things on the list are things Parker and I do together in marriage. Travel? Check! Bake an entire roll of cookie dough and eat it in one sitting? Yeah, that's happened since the "I do's". Accomplish a fitness goal? I've been training for a half marathon for the past couple of months and can't wait to run it. Adopt a pet? If you've read this blog for any length of time or know us personally, you know we adopted the Jen pup and couldn't be more in love with her. I would do these things if I were single too. The point is, being married doesn't mean I trade in an exciting life for an apron and a vacuum cleaner.

Nobody is forcing young women to get married. This isn't the age of arranged marriages. People that get married, for the most part, truly want to be married. Why judge them for doing what makes them happy? I have friends who want to wait to get married until they are 28 or 30. Good for them! That is what will make them happy, so they should do it. Let's not condemn and judge others for living life in a different way than we do. We get one life, one shot. For me, I wanted a husband and a family. I wanted to be married young and to experience life and growing older with my husband. I prayed for this, and God blessed me with a best friend to do just that with. My story isn't everyone's story. Maybe it isn't most people's story, but it's still a beautiful story. Single or married, dating or engaged, I think we all need to show respect to each other. Less judgement, more love. Comparison is the thief of joy, so why compare? I got married young, but I don't think my life is dull or unadventurous. In fact, I think it's quite the opposite.

 

A Love/Hate Relationship

I have a love/hate relationship with a few things, like working out...and chocolate. Another happens to be Halloween. Parker and I both agree I am kind of like the Halloween Scrooge. I love most holidays- Thanksgiving, Christmas, 4th of July, you name it. Halloween, however, is one I can't seem to get too jazzed up about. I don't completely dislike the holiday at all. It's a love/hate relationship.

Hate Strongly Dislike
The Scary: I can be such a baby. Parker isn't even allowed to mention zombies close to bedtime or I might have nightmares. Seriously, I have the tolerance for scary things of a five year old.
The Suggestive: "Halloween is the one day a year where girls can dress provocatively and get away with it". I am not sure why this is a rule. I'm not loving it.
The Mean: Growing up, I had a black cat. We always made sure we put him inside for Halloween so bad things wouldn't happen to him. Some people like to do bad things to black cats on Halloween, and I couldn't hate this more.


Love
The Candy: Well, that was a given. Who doesn't love eating all that candy? When you're a kid, it's so fun to go through the candy and see what goodness you managed to scoop up this year. As an adult, it's fun to pass out candy to the kids and tell them how neat their little costumes are. 
The Kids: How precious is it to see kiddos get so excited about dressing up as their favorite character? You get to be a princess or a soldier or, in my case, Big Bird. Don't worry, my twin sister got to be the Cookie Monster. That's a red letter day for any kid. 
The Costumes: Costumes are fun for kids and adults alike, and I love seeing what cute ideas couples come up with or groups of friends decide to band together as. People can get pretty darn creative! 
The Pumpkins: I love that everyone carves pumpkins. Seeing pumpkins on doorsteps is the best. It represents cool weather and the Fall spirit that we all get into. 

Is anyone else partially like the Halloween Scrooge? I am so excited to pass out candy to kids tonight and oooh and ahhh over their costumes. To me, that's Halloween!

Happy Halloween from our little pumpkin!

Yes, she absolutely hated that costume. I can't blame her.

Jalapeno Juice Will Burn Your Face Off

Okay, not really, but it sure felt like it. Let's back up. We don't do a lot of spicy foods at our house, so my experience cooking with jalapenos is limited. Parker requested jalapeno poppers, so I made up a recipe that didn't require the grill and began cooking. I thought jalapenos were like onions- you shouldn't touch your eyes and worse case scenario you might tear up, but it's not a big deal. Yeah, wrong.

 I started cutting and de-seeding the jalapenos. I touched my face a couple of times when I had an itch, and the jalapeno juice would occasionally squirt out at me when I was trying to get the last of the seeds out. My face was burning a bit, but I figured I would tough it out and it would go away. By the time I was done with the 8 jalapenos, I felt like my face was on fire.

I ran to the bathroom to splash cold water on my face and apply a little aloe vera, and the pain only intensified. I turned the shower on cold, stuck my face under it, and the pain only intensified. I tried ice, and the pain only intensified. I finally went to Parker out of desperation to see if he had any ideas, and he googled what to do. Google, what a revolutionary idea. Why didn't I think of that? He came back seconds later with Dawn dishwashing soap and said "try this and shampoo". After lathering shampoo and Dawn all over my face and applying ice cubes until I couldn't feel my fingers anymore, the pain finally subsided. I felt like I had a sunburn for the next hour or so, but it was nothing compared to how I felt initially.

I know this sounds silly, and I feel silly writing it because it was just a little jalapeno, but that little situation was no joke. Note for the future: jalapeno juice should stay far, far away from your face. Apparently I should wear gloves in the future. If you do make the same mistake I did, shampoo and ice cubes will be your best friend. I have this lovely photo courtesy of Parker, because while I was in pain, he found the whole thing amusing. He also figured out how to help me, so I guess I can't be too upset!

Biggest Pet Peeve

I'm a pretty easy going person. I try to keep it cool and just brush things off when they annoy me, but there is one thing that fires me up in .01 seconds and causes me to rant for 10 minutes straight.

Texting and driving.

I know we have all done it before and some of us still do it daily, but there are few things in my mind more dangerous than texting while driving. I don't know about yall, but I hear this excuse all the time: I'm good at it. No, you're not. None of us are good at driving without our eyes. Are you Batman? Didn't think so. Here's my thing with it, and I realize this post is becoming kind of a rant (sorry- can't help it): not only are you risking your life by not focusing on the road, you are risking the lives of those around you who aren't choosing to text and drive. That just doesn't seem fair. I know it's hard, especially when you are driving a long way, but it can wait. When I had to drive 9 hours when we moved from Florida to Texas, my phone was going crazy with people texting and asking where we were, how the drive was going, etc. I felt badly not answering, but it could wait until we got to the next rest stop. It can always wait.

Highway Don't Care is one of my favorite songs right now. Tim McGraw, Taylor Swift, and Keith Urban in the same song? Yes please! I love the message they chose to convey in the song though. They know they have a voice and did an awesome act of public service by releasing this video. It's disturbing, but the raw emotion and truth is so powerful.

Sorry this post was kind of a downer. I think it's such an important message, and I don't think it can be reiterated enough. Maybe next time you get in the car, put the phone down and wait until you're off the road. It could save your life.

What are some of your biggest pet peeves?