Recent Reads: November

I may not have been a good blogger in the month of November, but I did get into a few books this month! I read two that I absolutely loved and didn't want to end, and I read one that I never should have picked up in the first place. Here's what occupied my nightstand this month...

It Ends With Us

By Colleen Hoover

Yall, this is one of those books where I was so bummed when it was over. I just loved it! It's about Lily who had a tough life growing up, but everything seems to be working itself out now that she has fallen in love with Ryle. They are happy and perfect, but the reappearance of Atlas, her first love, threatens to change everything and causes her to question everything she thought she knew. I am a new fan of this author because she writes in such a personal way that you can't help but get sucked in. I loved this book and think you will too!

Slammed

By Colleen Hoover

I loved It Ends With Us so much that I picked this book next since it is written by the same author. It again did not disappoint! I was hooked from the first chapter and couldn't put it down. Layken, who just turned 18, moves with her mother and brother to a new state where she meets her handsome neighbor, Will. They instantly hit it off and have the best first date either has ever had. A couple of days later, Layken shows up for her senior year of high school only to find out that Will, who is 21, is actually her teacher. Their worlds are turned upside down as they wrestle with the feelings that pull them together but the reality that keeps them apart. The characters are well developed, likable, and relatable. I loved this one and already have the sequel on my list to read for next month!

Everything I Learned About Life, I Learned In Dance Class

By Abby Lee Miller

Ugh, I kind of hated this book, but it's totally my fault for choosing to read it. I have never been a fan of Abby Lee Miller, but I used to love watching Dance Moms, so I thought I would give it a shot. I was hoping for some fun, behind the scenes moments or back story on how the show got started. There was none of that. Instead, she gives parenting advice (she doesn't actually have kids, so there's that) and repeats herself over and over. I really wouldn't recommend this book to anyone. Not so good, yall. 

Three

November 23rd is easily the most emotional day of the year for me. It is the day my baby girl went to Heaven. I still remember November 23, 2014 like it was yesterday. We were living in Norfolk, VA, and I had listened to our daughter's heartbeat the night before with my doppler. She had hung on for one more day, and I was grateful. 

November 23, 2014 was a Sunday. We went to church that morning, and I don't remember what we were singing, but I remember being very emotional during worship. I was holding my small, pregnant belly when I looked up with tears in my eyes and said "God, thank you for this gift. I give her back to you when you are ready". When we went to check her heartbeat that night, it was gone. She was gone. 

I am finally to the point now where I can type that without crying. I have written and told it so many times, but I still do get emotional sometimes when I think about what could have been. She would be 2 and a half now, full of personality and ideas all her own. Knowing I will never get a life here on earth with her is still just as painful as it was the day I found out she was gone. I will always mourn what could have been, no matter how many children I have or how much time passes. 

November 23rd fell on Thanksgiving this year. The two previous years, November 23rd has been a really hard day for me. I feel numb and almost dead inside on this day every year, so I assumed that is how I would feel this year too. I woke up feeling empty thinking of Taylor but full knowing I got to celebrate her life with my baby boy for the first time. We were in Texas with family, but I wanted to celebrate with my little crew before the hustle and bustle of the day ensued. It ended up being a really sweet time. Like every year, we sang happy birthday and blew out a candle on a cupcake. This year was really special because it was the first year Preston was with us to celebrate his sister in Heaven. I held him close and just felt thankful for the journey. I will always miss her, and I will always love her, but I know she is in Heaven watching over her brother here on earth, and I know as soon as I get to Heaven, I am never letting go of her. Another year has passed. We love you, Taylor Grace. We love you so much.