Knowing there is a baby growing in my belly is the most joyful thought in the world. I wonder who he or she will be, what their little personality will be like, what they will look like... I really just can't wait to meet this child. Knowing I am going to be caring for this little one is the most humbling thought, but also one of the most intimidating. They will look up to me, rely on my to teach them right from wrong, watch my every move and learn from what I say and do. Hello, pressure.
I was trying clothes on the other day and looked into the mirror and said, "Ugh, I look so fat". Obviously I am pregnant, but I don't have much of a bump yet and instead am rocking the bloated look. That's not the first time I've looked into the mirror and said "I look fat". Not even close. I am a thin person and have never been "fat" a day in my life. I know that, but there are still those days where I, along with a lot of girls I think, look in the mirror and decide I look fat today.
I remember getting ready in my mom's bathroom when I was in high school one day and telling her I thought I looked fat in my outfit. She said something she probably doesn't even remember saying, but it stuck with me all these years. She said, "Chelsea, how do you think it makes people who are bigger than you feel when you say that?". I had never thought of it that way. I'm not fat nor do I have any type of eating disorder (I eat more than most girls, and my family/friends could attest to that), but I still look in the mirror and have vanity issues just like the next person. I'm confident in my body and the way I look, but I'm just like any girl- I can find the imperfections.
I don't know if this baby is a boy or a girl or what they are going to look like, but I am going to love them and think they are absolutely perfect no matter what. I'll always see them as perfect, but the rest of the world won't. Society will remind them they don't look like the supermodel in the magazine. Society will tell them they're too fat, too skinny, too short, too tall. I can't shield them from the harshness of the world, but I can equip them with the self-confidence to realize both their outer and inner beauty. I can make sure they know just how fearfully and wonderfully made they really are. I can make sure they know they are perfect.
When this child starts watching my every move and mimicking what I say, I want to be a positive influence. I want them to look in the mirror and see beauty, so I need to do the same. If this child looks anything like me, they are going to be naturally tall and thin. They won't ever have to struggle with weight issues if they lead a healthy lifestyle. I may not look like a supermodel, but I was created in His image to be beautiful. I want my child to know and see the same in themselves.