Dear Taylor | 2 Years Later | Anchors Aweigh

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Dear Taylor | 2 Years Later


Dear Taylor Grace,

Today is November 23, 2016. This means you have now been in Heaven for 2 whole years. How is that possible? In some ways it feels like just yesterday that you were growing inside me, and in others, it feels like a lifetime ago. I hate that. 

Reflecting back on year 2 of knowing you are There instead of here, many things haven't changed. I still remember you every single day. Not a day goes by that I don't think about my sweet daughter in Heaven, and I think the hardest part is knowing what could have been. I so desperately wanted to raise you, hold you, and mother you, and I still do. 

Being pregnant with your baby brother hasn't made me miss you less. He will grow up knowing he has a big sister watching over him, and one of the things I am most looking forward to is hearing him say your name for the first time. 

Losing you wrecked me, changed, me, and taught me more than anything ever has. I still wouldn't take any of it back. Of course I wish you would have been healed while still inside me, but I have never for a second regretted our journey with you. I am so, so thankful God chose me to be your mom. I still smile when I think about what a fighter you were. I've talked to so many nurses and doctors, and carrying a baby with triploidy halfway through the pregnancy is unheard of. I've never met a doctor who has seen a baby with your condition make it as far as you did. The 18 weeks 5 days I had with you (possibly more since our dating was likely off) were the greatest gift. 

Today is the day your dad and I celebrate your life. We will light a candle, put it on a big birthday cupcake, and sing you "Happy Birthday" just like we did last year. The only thing that makes this day bearable is knowing I get eternity with you. When I finally get There, I am holding you close and never letting go. Happy 2nd birthday in Heaven, little girl! I love you angel baby. 

Love, Mom




7 comments :

Carly Blogs Here said...

<3 thinking of you guys today chelsea!

Bailey @ Becoming Bailey said...

Hugs and prayers!!!

Amy A. said...

Wow. Tears! This letter blessed me this morning. You're an amazing mother, Chelsea. Thank you for continuing to share this journey with us. Thinking of you and your baby girl.

Susannah said...

<3<3<3 Sending you a virtual hug, dear girl! <3

The girls said...

I've prayed for you every single day since I read about Taylor's diagnosis, without fail. I still do. I'll pray extra for you and that precious girl in Heaven today. I hope that's not weird. Hugs!

Jen said...

Sending lots of love your way!

amy said...

I truly can not believe this marks two years.
This was beautifully written and i know that you will continue to carry her sweet life and story for all the years to come. <3
Hugs to y'all.

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