Every Night Is Date Night When You're Married... *Slap | Anchors Aweigh

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Every Night Is Date Night When You're Married... *Slap

Marriage is one of those things that you can't fully prepare for until you are in the throws of it. I think it's probably similar to having a baby, though slightly less drastic. You can read and pray and prepare all you want, but there are aspects of marriage that I just wasn't briefed on until Parker and I were living together under one roof, completely sharing our lives. I remember being so ready to marry Parker. We would get to have every meal together and fall asleep on the couch to the latest rom com while eating chocolate (okay, so Parker and I may have had slightly different expectations on the idealistic marriage. He would probably skip the chick flick and sugar, but I digress). Marriage would be so fun. Every night is date night when you're married!

.... yeah, no.

Okay, so marriage IS fun. It's a blast in fact, but every night is most certainly not date night. Life is going to happen. Parker is going to have to study. I am going to have dinners with girlfriends. We are going to have people over. He is going to want to play video games, and I am going to relish an evening of reality television on the couch by myself. If every night were date night, we probably wouldn't appreciate it. Marriage is work, and you have to work in those date nights when and where you can.
 
The whole idea for this topic came from a text I received from a friend a couple of months ago. I can't remember the exact context, but he asked if Parker and I wanted to go out with a group that Friday night, and I told him we were doing a date night. His response was, naturally, "You're married. Every night is date night". I really can't fault him too much since I used to think the same thing. When you're married, you know this isn't the case, but when I was single, I certainly thought it was. When one of your friends gives you the friendly guilt trip of going on a date night instead of hanging out, you kind of want to slap them. Then you want to slap yourself for thinking about slapping a friend. Then you remember why you wanted to slap them in the first place, and you want to slap them again. It's a vicious cycle. 

The thing is, our marriage is not an episode of The Bachelor. We don't go on helicopter rides over one of the seven wonders of the world one night and then ride horses on the beach the next. That's cute, but that's not reality. The reality is that every night is not date night. Honestly, I am glad it isn't. It's hard to appreciate something that's handed to you on a silver platter whenever you want it. Date nights are special because they don't happen every night. Parker and I still get so excited to dress up on a Friday night and go on a date. We still get excited when both of our Tuesday nights are perfectly clear, allowing us to do dinner and a movie on the couch. Life is going to get in the way sometimes, but it sure does make those date nights you do get to experience sweet!





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19 comments :

Samantha @ Life is But a Stream of Thoughts said...

I'm really glad you posted about this. I kind of always thought that maybe marriage would be like that (oops), but now I feel like I'll be a little more realistic about marriage once I get to that stage in life. Also, I laughed a lot about the vicious cycle.

Kate at Green Fashionista said...

Love this, you said it perfectly :)

Elizabeth Lynn said...

I honestly thought that married life was like that before I got married! Now I look back and wonder what I was thinking. You're so right that we wouldn't appreciate it if every night was date night--I love your outlook!

Jenn @ Jenn Hopes said...

This is so good! Like, SO GOOD! I totally agree and not only am I learning about the whole "every night isn't really date night", I'm also beginning to learn how focused time works in a marriage. Being long distance daters, whenever Jake and I would be together before we were married it was 100% time focused on each other. Now it's an adjustment to realize that each of us has things we want and need to do that don't necessarily involve the other person. Love this post!

Rachel Lynn said...

Almost to our 9th anniversary...I totally agree. Especially being married to a military guy who deploys every year. Date nights are to be appreciated, when and where you can get them!

My Wholesome Home

With Love, Leslie said...

I really loved this post! You nailed it (: Marriage is not a life long episode of The Bachelorette.. And honestly I don't think I would want it to be either, I wouldn't appreciate it as much.

Emily Stewart said...

Oh you guys don't go on elephant rides in Thailand (Sean and Catherine's season..ya feel me?) every night? I kid, I kid. I feel you about date night though! We're soaking it all up right now before he leaves. Also, this is a fantastic picture of the two of you. Am I creepy for wanting to know who takes all of these pictures? Is it Jimmy? Ahem...James?

Lisa C said...

So I'm married, but my husband is deployed. Is every night still date night? I mean, there's me, a bottle of wine, and a super romantic evening of cereal for dinner and Netflix, haha. I def agree that you can't fully prepare for marriage.

Elizabeth said...

I LOVE that picture of you two!

Becca Evans said...

I definitely agree. It changes even more once you have kids. My husband and I have date night once every six months or so, and those are pretty dang special when they do happen. But I wouldn't change it. Marriage is awesome and good. It's hard but totally worth it.

+Becca
http://rpointer-revans.blogspot.com/

Jamie @ You Gotta Have Hart said...

Although Rob and I haven't tied the knot (we just live in sin lol), I feel like we are married and every night is NOT date night.. there are long days at work, dinners to be made, dishes to be done, and time when we each want to be by ourselves. WHICH, makes those special and intimate moments that much better. I would be broke if every night were date night! Great post!

Hana R said...

This is great, and SO TRUE! Our marriage went through some serious struggles after our second child was born. We went to counseling when our son was already 6 months old. Our counselor asked when we had gone out on a date last, and it was literally almost a year prior to that!!!!! So now we make it a point to get a sitter TWICE a month and go out just the two of us, and it's amazing what a difference it made in our marriage. Seriously...all we did was add a few date nights, and we were back on track. I also wake up with Nick every morning at 430 (FOR REAL) to have coffee with him before he goes to work...it's like a little morning date. Dating is important when you're married!!!! Don't lose sight of that when y'all have kids!

Angie said...

Such a wonderful post and so very true. After 15 years of marriage and 3 kids, my Husband & I cherish date nights :)

Bailey Kay said...

I love this post!

Heather said...

Great post. Date nights are a blessing because they certainly are not "every night"

Elizabeth McDowell said...

I love this!

Lydia @ This Marine Wife said...

Date nights are SO important! They become extra important after you start having kids. Oh, it was easy for us to do date nights after our first. But, when we started having more children, finding a babysitter became more difficult. The more our date nights started to wane, the more we saw our relationship struggle. Date nights allow for that sole focus time for just each other and no one else. They help strengthen that beautiful bond of marriage. This post was so well written!

Finley S said...

Very well said - they certainly are not and always needs work, the fact that you get to go on a date and be married to the guy is pretty special :D

Stephanie said...

I would be stressed out if every night is date night! For one I would be exhausted...this girl needs my me time. I don't think anything can fully prepare you for marriage; there are still some days I am surprised with how things go. But that is part of the fun! Always learning together!

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