Grieving: When The Rest Of The World Moves On | Anchors Aweigh

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Grieving: When The Rest Of The World Moves On

One thing I have learned from losing Taylor Grace is that grieving is a process made up of different stages. There were nights where I couldn't remember what it was like to fall asleep without crying. There were mornings where I didn't want to get out of bed. There were days where our kitchen was filled with flowers, plants, and cards from the beautiful people mourning the loss of our daughter with us. That was just the beginning of the grieving process.

It's been 2 months today since our little girl went to Heaven. It still feels just as raw as it did the day the doctor couldn't find a heartbeat, honestly. I've learned how to deal with the emotions, but it doesn't mean I miss her any less. I still think about her all the time. I still look down at my belly to remind myself she isn't in there. I still cry imagining the daughter I didn't get to have. This is normal, I suppose. I am her mother. Aside from Parker, this affected me more than anyone. I haven't moved on, but what happens when the world around me does? 

I've been contemplating this over the last couple of weeks. Sure people still ask how we are doing from time to time, but for the most part, the world has moved on. People go on smiling, laughing, and talking as if their lives weren't changed forever. It's easy to feel alone while it seems like everyone else is fine. 

So what do you do when the rest of the world moves on?

After a lot of thought, I realized the answer is quite simple: absolutely nothing. People still care for us and are praying for us, but everyone is going to slowly move on, and this is only natural. Nobody is immune from tragedy in this life. I lost a child, but everyone has lost someone. We all have to pick ourselves up and live life as best we can. Everyone else's world didn't come crashing down when Taylor left this Earth. Ours did. Sure people were sad for us and hurt because we were hurting, but it didn't change anyone else's lives as much as it changed ours. I can't expect the world to be sad forever, and I don't want to be sad forever. This is just another step in the grieving process. The world will feel better before I will, and that's okay. 



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11 comments :

Cayte Brown said...

Love your words. You put everything into great perspective for the rest of us :) always thinking and praying for y'all.

Janelle Vannice said...

I felt this way when my dad passed away unexpectedly in high school. It was a huge shock to everyone... and my friends were great... but then all of a sudden everything was back to normal while I was still fighting through what happened. It was a huge struggle and took a big toll on me for a long time. You will get through it. You'll never stop thinking of her every single day, but it'll be easier to process, and you'll be able to smile thinking about her. I know our situations are completely different, but just know that you're still in my thoughts and prayers! Hang in there.

The Jessa Olson Blog said...

You have handle this so well, and your words are absolutely beautiful. My boyfriend in high school killed himself my senior year. (His sophomore year of college) and I was a wreck for what felt like forever. People went back to normal after a while, but I was so heartbroken. Even though I am married now I still think about him from time to time. It's just natural.

Mrs. V said...

Wow. This post totally hit home with me! Not in the same way as you are grieving, but still it did. I've been thinking a whole lot along those same lines lately. I lost my mom (& best friend) 9.5 months ago and it was so totally unexpected. It still hurts... Thanks for the raw and honest post & helping me see things that way.

I'm more of a new reader to your blog. (Not a blogger myself, just love your blog!) :) I can't begin to imagine the hurt you & Parker are going through...but send hugs your way :) And, Taylor Grace - just the perfect name!

Hope you guys have a great weekend!!

Bailey Kay said...

I can't relate to losing a child, but I remember losing my Papaw on my 14th birthday. Praying for you!!

Ari Mack said...

There are some things you never get over, but you learn to live with them and get through them. And that's okay. I personally don't believe "time heals all wounds." Time, by itself, doesn't heal unless you work to heal over time. I think time can make the sting go away. But, time makes some people more bitter.

I've never been where you are, but one year when I was having a really rough time, someone told me that even if your world is falling apart, you can still find something small in the midst of it that is beautiful, true, good, and for which you're grateful, or which gives you a purpose. It might be as small as a beautiful flower.

It doesn't change the loss, but finding that ONE thing in your day that gives you purpose or makes you smile can help. And slowly, time marches on, and you can start to breathe more easily.

Katie said...

I think you are so strong. <3

Jen said...

You are amazingly strong and a loss like this is not something that just goes away. As you said it is a process and there are many stages that you will go through. Hugs my friend! <3

Whitney @ Southern Hope said...

You are a beautiful example to so many, thanks for sharing your story with us.

Stephanie said...

Very powerful post. Thinking of you and hope that you find peace and are able to get through it all a little easier every day.

Lydia @ This Marine Wife said...

I felt the same way after we lost Andrew. I'm sorry that I hadn't commented on many of your posts, but I want you to know that I followed and grieved with you. Losing a baby so soon causes such raw feelings. Whenever Andrew's heaven anniversary comes around, those emotions still flow. I remember having those same thoughts shortly after we lost him. There were countless times when I wept in the shower and wondered how I could eventually move forward. Even when we got pregnant again months later, I still mourned his loss. There were well-meaning people who said that the new baby would help replace the hurt. No, nobody could replace Andrew. But, our new baby was able to help provide healing to our hurting hearts. Healing does come. It is slow, but it comes. I'm so thankful we have a God who specializes in people who are hurting!

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