Dear Taylor | One Year Later | Anchors Aweigh

Pages

Dear Taylor | One Year Later

Dear Taylor,

One year ago today, you went to Heaven. How has it already been a whole year? It really feels like just yesterday that I was pregnant with you, happily planning for and dreaming of your arrival. Life looks so different from how we thought it would. 

They said losing you would get easier over time. I can honestly say they were wrong. It hasn't gotten any easier, but I've learned how to deal with it. Losing you broke my heart, and it never really came all the way back together. I think a part of me will hurt for the rest of my life knowing that I don't get to have you here. 

They say healing comes in stages, and that I agree with. Accepting what happened and accepting that this was nobody's fault was the first step, and I think I did both of those pretty quickly. There is another element of healing that probably won't come until we have a baby here on this earth, so we will see when the time is right for that. There is also this final, intangible piece of healing that I don't think is possible until I meet you in Heaven. 

Don't get me wrong, as painful as losing you was, the joy was so much greater. I hope that in sharing your story, others can also find the joy if they go through an unthinkable situation like this one. There was joy when you were here, and there is joy in knowing you are Home with Jesus. You, little daughter, are my greatest joy.

I know I never got to meet you, but the love I feel for you is unlike anything I've ever felt for another person. I can't tell you how blessed I am to be your mom. I still thank God for choosing your dad and me to be yours. I'd go through all of this again just to get to be your mom. 

I'm also so proud of you. You were so sick while you were here, but you held on so long, long enough for us to love you, name you, and share your story. I've talked to the doctors, and it's almost unheard of for a baby with your condition to have made it so far. You fought to live and beat the odds. 

Our time on Earth is so short and fleeting compared to the eternity we all get to spend in Heaven, so we can all wait a little longer. When I get to Heaven, you'll be the first one I want to see, and I'm never letting go. Your dad and I love you so much, Taylor Grace. Happy 1st birthday!

Love, Mom


20 comments :

Emily said...

I cannot imagine, praying for you this week! You are so strong!

Veronica-VeroSays! said...

This was beautiful! Thank you for sharing your story. You are brave and strong!

Cayte Brown said...


Thinking of you and your family, mama!! You are such a great mom to Taylor and all your future babies here on Earth will be lucky to have you!

Justine said...

What beautiful words in tribute of your precious Taylor. I am truly inspired by your willingness to share your honest feelings as you have gone through the journey of losing Taylor and your unwavering faith in God through all of it. My thoughts and prayers are with your husband and you!

Melissa said...

Praying for you and your family today and every day, Chelsea. Such a loss is unfathomable, but I know our Heavenly Father has the best of plans for your sweet girl in Heaven, as well as her earthly parents she left behind. xo

Janelle Vannice said...

As always, this was beautifully written. You show so much courage, and I still pray often for your family.

Jen said...

This post is amazing, you are always in my thoughts. I am sending you many virtual hugs.

Erica @ Whimsical September said...

Praying for you today, Chelsea!

amy said...

<3 <3 <3
what a blessing she was to not only your family, but to your blog family as well. watching y'alls journey with her - truly inspiring.
also, i can't believe it's been a year.
hugs to you + parker today.

Emily Stewart said...

I praying for you and Parker today. I cannot even fathom what you are going through and how hard today must be but you are so strong and Taylor is so lucky to have you and Parker as her parents. You are an inspiration to me. I'm always here for you. Lots of hugs being sent your way from California and the Stew crew. Love you! xoxo!

Alia said...

I can only imagine the celebration with Jesus! Praying for you this week and so thankful for a God who is so mighty to make beauty from ashes. xoxo

Bailey Kay said...

Praying for you and Parker! Your angel baby is looking down on you.

The Lady Okie said...

So wonderful to know God is taking care of her and loves her even more than you do! Thanks for sharing. I'm sure your story is encouraging to others.

Kaycee said...

Happy Birthday, sweet Taylor! Praying for you today, Chelsea. You are such a strong woman.

Ech Will said...

Sending lots of love and prayers for you and your family.

Nicole B. said...

Just beautiful!

Angie Scheie said...

Pure loveliness Chelsea! You are an inspiration, and I know Taylor has the biggest grin on her face right now!!

Miranda Pridgeon said...

Beautiful post. You are a such a strong woman!
Taylor is lucky to have you as a mom.
www.truemommytails.blogspot.com/

Stephanie said...

Beautiful words as usual. Prayers to you as you walk through this journey. She definitely has a purpose Chelsea. You have helped so many other families by sharing her life. Know that you have brought strength to others as you have searched for your own. Virtual hugs!

Lisa C said...

Praying for you, sweet friend!

LinkWithin

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...