Taylor Grace | Anchors Aweigh

Pages

Taylor Grace

I'm not sure where to begin with a post like this, so I will just start from the beginning. A couple of weeks ago, the doctors became concerned that our little baby was measuring small for her age. They were also concerned because I tested higher than normal for the risk of a chromosomal abnormality called Trisomy 18. We were referred to a high risk doctor so they could get a better look at the baby and take more thorough measurements. We watched our sweet little baby on the ultrasound screen as the doctors took picture after picture and tried to conceal the concern from their faces. As Parker and I grasped onto one another, the doctor held my gaze and told me they were very suspicious of a chromosomal abnormality. They did an amniocentesis to confirm, but the ultrasound showed everything they were looking for in a situation like this. We knew.

We got the call on Monday that our baby has something called triploidy. Instead of having 2 of each chromosome like she should, she has 3 in every little cell of her body. It happened at conception, and there is absolutely nothing Parker nor I could have done to prevent it. It was completely out of our control. The statistics are not pretty. There is a 99% chance I will miscarry her or she will be stillborn. If she is born alive, she will likely die on her birthday. Just like that, our lives were changed forever. The baby we have been praying for, rejoicing over, and dreaming about is the baby we are probably never going to get. 

We are absolutely heartbroken and taking it all day by day. We know the hardest days are still to come. Many couples in our situation feel there is a choice to be made when a baby is labeled "incompatible with life". For us personally, we don't see any choices to be made. God is the author of life and death. He gave our baby life, and He will choose to take her home when He is ready. He could still perform a miracle on her, and who are we to deny Him that opportunity? For now, we are rejoicing in the days we do get to carry her and have her with us here on Earth. We don't know how much more time we will get. Our little fighter has already beaten the odds as 2/3 of babies with triploidy die before 15 weeks, and our baby still has a strong heartbeat at 18 weeks.

We don't know why this is happening to us, but we do know that God doesn't make mistakes. Our baby was created in His image, and to Him, she is absolutely perfect. As much as we wish God would make our baby healthy and use us in a different way, we fully believe He chose us specifically for this journey and that He will somehow be glorified through it all. There hasn't been a day since finding out that tears haven't been shed, but God has His arms wrapped around us, and we know He isn't letting go. We may not get to see our baby alive on this Earth, and we wish more than anything that we could, but we know we will see her someday in Heaven. She will be so perfect, so happy, and completely healed.
 
As you can tell from all of the "shes" and "hers", our little miracle is a girl. Her name is Taylor Grace, and we couldn't love her more. 




post signature

62 comments :

Kelly Rodriguez said...

I have no words, only prayers as you walk this journey. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers.

Kay R. said...

Praying for strength for you and Parker.

Kate Mitchell said...

Praying for all 3 of you. Sending so many thoughts and prayers and love.

Patty said...

Oh Chelsea, I cannot even come up with any words...please know the three of you are wrapped in prayers and love!!

Sydney Hale said...

As an angel mom, I know how you feel. My heart breaks for you and I will pray for her, your husband, and you. So glad you are turning to God as he is the ultimate healer. Blessings to sweet, strong Taylor Grace.

Traci@TheHallway said...

Oh my gosh Chelsea... As I sit here with tears in my eyes typing this, I truly don't know what to say except for you and Parker are incredibly strong. NOBODY ever wants to hear something like that. My heart truly aches for you guys. You seem to have such a positive view on it which is the exact way you need to be thinking right now. Oh I wish I could give you a hug. You guys are already two incredible parents to that sweet Taylor Grace and she knows it! I will be keeping you all in my prayers! xoxox

Mary-Keith Piasecki said...

I'm so sorry. praying.

Veronica Lee Burns said...

I love reading your heart in this...your peace with the Lord in this situation radiates through your words. Know that you will impact and God is already glorified in the way you've reacted and explained it here.

Caitlin said...

I'm so sorry for you and Parker and will be lifting you up in so many prayers. You guys love her so much and that's the best thing you can give her.

Amanda said...

At a loss for words so I'll simply pray for strength and healing.

Brianna said...

Taylor Grace is one unbelievably loved little girl! And God has already been glorified as you and Parker turn to him in this difficult time. No matter how long you have with your bundle of joy, this will forever be a part of your testament, of your story. I truly wish I could hug you from afar, and please know that y'all are receiving prayer after prayer, day after day.

Courtney Kassner said...

As difficult as it sounds, praying God's peace overwhelms you each day. Knowing He is a God of Miracles, praying he performs one after another for your little girl. So sorry, but I loved reading and just feeling your strength and faith through such difficult news.

Ashley said...

I can't even come up with words so instead I will pray for you, Parker and Taylor Grace.

Aishlea said...

I am so sorry. My heart breaks for you. Many prayers are going up now for your family. What a beautiful name, too!

Alisa Habenicht said...

Oh sweet Celsea, I'm so very sorry. From the moment I read this, I began praying for you, Parker and Taylor Grace. My heart aches for you and I will keep you in my prayers.

"From the end of the earth I will cry to you, when my heart is overwhelmed; Lead me to the rock that is higher than I." Psalm 61:2

Love, Alisa

Melissa said...

Oh, Chelsea, I just saw this on instagram. My heart absolutely breaks for you and your husband, but I am comforted in the knowledge of your faith, as well as our Heavenly Father's unwavering and unconditional love. He chose YOU to be sweet Taylor's earthly parents in whatever time you might have with her, and He will never forsake you, even in the hour of your grief and pain. I'm sending you thousands of prayers and the biggest hug in the world <3

kelly forbes said...

Truthfully, you have been on my mind since the day that you wrote the post saying that doctors maybe thought that your baby may be smaller than it should. I've just been hoping so hard that everything would be okay. You are so special Chelsea...you have a huge heart and whatever God has planned for your sweet girl, God is going to bless her and I believe that she will touch the lives of many. Again, you're an incredible girl and I know that your family will bring so much glory.

Jen said...

I am sending so much love and hugs your way. You both are amazing and Taylor Grace is loved more than she knows.

Ladonna said...

I am so sorry. Praying for you.

Julie said...

Oh my gosh....I'm so sorry. I read this with tears in my eyes. I will be thinking about you both. And what a beautiful name for you sweet little girl. My husband and I lost our first, we named her Autumn <3

Rachel S. said...

Im so sorry!! I am praying for you! Your both amazing parents!

Elaine said...

My sweet ones, I love the faith in God that permeates your lives! What a testimony to so many others. I cannot imagine the heaviness of your hearts right now but I am confident our Father, God, knows this pain, since He gave up His only Son. Oh, my dears, I promise you my prayers.

Janelle Vannice said...

I am in tears reading through your post. I can't imagine how you are feeling right now, but you have the best attitude about something like this that I have EVER seen. You're right that she is perfect and was made this way. I am praying so hard for the three of you, and I respect you so much for sharing this with everyone and taking on the outlook that you have.

shannonlacy said...

I can't imagine what you two are walking through right now, but I admire your courage and faithfulness. A woman I worked with last year carried a Trisomy 13 baby full-term and blogged about it along the way. Maybe it can be an encouragement to you: http://babyublog.com

Sending all my prayers.

Amy said...

i feel like words will fail right now.
i wish i was there to hug you, cry with you, rejoice with you, pray with you, and love on you and parker.
tears are just filling my eyes.
i love that y'all are allowing God to envelope you, even when you don't fully understand what or why this is happening.

this only seems fitting (i actually read it this morning):

"We know our Redeemer lives. We believe it, even when we cannot feel it. Yet grief is thick and tangible and our bodies pain under its weight. Whatever and whomever we grieve, the emotions consume and toss us like rag dolls in the waves and we have no energy left to swim. And so we do the only thing we know to do: we give the grief back to God."

<3 to both of you.

Emily said...

Lifting you all up in prayer in the weeks coming. I love that you feel and believe that God is the author of life. He has a plan for Taylor and you guys as her parents!!! No matter what, God is good-all the time. I am just heartbroken for you guys with this news, I am so sorry! Prayers and Hugs!

Kate at Green Fashionista said...

Awww Chelsea, my heart is breaking for you and Parker. I love how strong you are, and agree that God is the author of life. You guys are in my prayers *hugs*.

Bailey Kay said...

Oh Chelsea my heart is absolutely broken for y'all. Praying for you. Please let me know if there is anything I can do for you.

Cayte Brown said...

Stay strong mama! Always here for you if you need to hang out :) You and Parker are already great parents!

The Life You Love said...

Chelsea, I am so sorry to read this. You and Parker are in my thoughts. I cannot imagine how you are feeling, but I hope that you find the strength to trust that everything happens for a reason. You are strong, courageous, and inspiriing. There will not be a single day that I don't think of your family and hope for the best for the three of you.

Grandma Pat said...

Grandpa Harley and I are also shedding tears and wish we could be there to wrap all 3 of you in our arms. We are so proud of you both and, as always, awed at your faith in God that you have made the choice to leave Taylor Grace's fate in the hands of God. You are in our prayers even more than usual as we realize what a difficult journey that you are on. God bless all 3 of you. With much love, Grandma Pat & Grandpa Har

Kenzie Smith said...

There is nothing that I can put into words than can ease your or Parker's pain. I can only imagine what you both are going through, and I am so very sorry. My love, thoughts, and prayers are with you all ♥

Sydney Eyrich said...

I am so sorry. As I read this, I shed tears for you. I cannot imagine the heartbreak you must be feeling. You guys are in my prayers. Your decision to not "make a choice", and to cherish your little girl for as long as you can here on earth, and to trust God even in this pain is a true testament to your faith. Taylor Grace is clearly so very loved.

Katie said...

Im so sorry. I pray that sweet Taylor be that miracle baby.

Krista said...

I am so sorry to hear this, I can't imagine what you must be feeling. You, your husband and your sweet baby Taylor are in my thoughts.

Mia @ The Chronicles of Chaos said...

I'm so, so sorry, Chelsea. I don't even have the words. But you are absolutely right that Taylor is a miracle and God's blessing. And I'm glad that you are able to keep such a positive, outlook during such a difficult time. Big hugs to you and your hubby and your family!

Stephanie said...

Chelsea, I've so enjoyed reading your blog over the past few months, and I just want to say how sorry I am. I will definitely be praying for you and Parker. Taylor Grace is very, very loved! Thanks for sharing your heart, even though I can't imagine how painful that this has been. Praying for you.

Nicole B. said...

Chelsea,
I will be praying for you, Parker, and Miss Taylor Grace. Thank you for sharing your Faith and your journey with us all.. it is inspiring. Sending love your way...

The girls said...

I had to walk away from this post and come back, because it's just so heartbreaking. And judging from all the comments, we all (your faithful readers) feel the same way. The way you write about your faith and the diagnosis and prognosis is just so real and poignant. It may sound trite, but I'll be praying for you, Parker, and sweet little Taylor Grace.

Charity said...

Chelsea I prayed for you the minute I read your IG post. You and Parker are on my hearts along with your sweet baby. I admire your faith and bravery to trust God. I've had some news about one of my babies and I'm just faithful God will see him or her through. I don't know how hard it is for you because our challenges are different but it's so tough in a mother's heart.

Mix and Match Mama said...

I am praying for you and your family right now. I am so, so, so sorry for this tremendous loss and heartbreaking situation.

Kay said...

Chelsea, my friend showed me your blog as I entered the world of blogging and I have so enjoyed following your posts. I am so sad to hear about little Taylor Grace's situation and I will most definitely be praying for you, Parker and sweet little Taylor Grace. "Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me." I know God will take care of all three of you <3

Stephanie said...

I can't even begin to comprehend how you are feeling right now, but you seem to be using your relationship with God to get you through. You're right that she is perfect and that God has intention in everything that he does. I pray that you have continued strength and a sense of calm as you go through this journey. God has plans for your Taylor Grace, and that is something you can definitely count on.

Cheri @ Overactive Blogger said...

I'm so sorry. Praying for you.

Tamara B. said...

Hugs and Prayers.

Diane @ DD Kimball Road said...

Chelsea,

I cannot even begin to imagine what you are feeling right now. All I can offer is a virtual bear hug and a prayer that God gives you a miracle. Please if you ever want to talk in a non-virtual setting please let me know and I will email you my phone number. Talking it out, even via text can be helpful.

Lots of love! Diane

Jenny @ Creatively Blooming said...

Oh my goodness, Chelsea. I don't even know where to begin. I wish I could give you a hug right now. I so wish that y'all had family nearby to be there with you guys. You and Parker are already extraordinary parents and Taylor Grace is so loved. I will be praying for Taylor and for strength for you and Parker.

Do y'all listen to/follow Aaron Watson? He and his wife went through something very similar, albeit a different condition, with their fourth child. He blogged about it a bit a few years back.

Laura {happily ever} Parker said...

Thinking of the three of you. How lucky she is to have parents like you. Xoxo

Emily said...

Enjoy her while she is here and I hope you find comfort in knowing you will see her in heaven.

Yulunda G. said...

God is a miracle worker and He is able to do exceedingly and abundantly above anything we can ever ask or think. Let's continue to keep the faith.

When I was pregnant with my son, I was told he had Down Syndrome, I had cancerous polyps and Clinical Depress and acute anxiety. It was HELL but, I keep confessing the Word of God and all of that was reversed.

Let's keep moving forward in His Victory in Jesus' Name.

Shannon said...

You have a lot of heart. I'm praying for you and your daughter.

Sarah Moore said...

Praying for you and your sweet family. I pray that God continues to wrap His arms around you.

Lauren @ Lot Forty Eight said...

Oh my goodness my prayers are with you. I am so sorry. Anything i can do

Alessandra Ferguson said...

Chelsea, first time visiting your page as I came across this post from another blogger. I am so sorry and don't even have the words to say, but my heart breaks. I will be praying for your family and believing for that miracle with you. And believing for peace with wherever the Lord leads you next. I'll be following your story.

Ally @ You Are More
alessandraferguson.blogspot.com

Rachel said...

Oh, dear, dear woman of faith that you are--I'm crying for you and your little family. I can't imagine hearing that kind of news. May you and your husband be comforted in this time, and may you both keep on loving that little girl you've been given.

Lacy Lain said...

I am a new follower, but I am Praying for you! I can't even help but cry reading this, but as I read it I am reminded that we serve a BIG God, a God of miracles and marvelous healing, and I know His ways are best. What a hard thing to be chosen for, but what a wonderful encouragement this post was to read. You have inspired thoughts of truth today, the truth that He will take care, because He cares for us, no matter what and He works for our good even in the midst of enormous storms and somehow get glory. Gosh! I am praying for miracles right now. My prayers, thoughts, and love are with you! You are an inspiring woman of great faith!

Love and Blessings,
Lacy

www.thelainarchives.com

Ali Smith said...

I can't even imagine what you're going through.

I do know a great group for parents in your situation, or ones like it. It was started by a family who lost an infant.

http://stringofpearlsonline.org/

Hot Tea and the Empty Seat said...

Praying for strength, wisdom, healing, power, love, hope, and peace to surround you, Taylor, & your entire family.

Carly Blogs Here said...

Sending so many hugs and prayers your way! <3

Lydia @ This Marine Wife said...

Oh dear friend! I had been out of the blogging world for several months and came back to just now read this post. My heart sincerely breaks for you and Parker! God makes no mistakes, and He chose you to be Taylor's parents. He knew your sweet little Taylor before she was knit in your womb. Like you said, He has a perfect plan through all of this. Your precious baby is already touching lives! I will be praying for strength and peace through this journey. Love you, friend!

Jamie @ You Gotta Have Hart said...

As hard as it is to accept.. Our God doesn't make mistakes. I still have to remind myself that after almost ten years suffering the loss of my own child. Treasure all thst you have because she is thriving in you and knowing her Parent's undying love. I love ya and I feel your pain. I'm here for you.

Whitney @ Southern Hope said...

Oh goodness sweetheart. I just came upon your blog and was so touched by your story. You make a beautiful mother and whether in this life or the next you will get to raise that sweet baby girl. Praying for you and your family.

LinkWithin

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...