There are times where life feels like it's in overdrive, and all I want to do is go to sleep so I don't have to think about it all. Now just feels like one of those times. Don't get me wrong, this is a wonderful time in our lives. So many exciting things are happening, and we couldn't feel more blessed. We moved to Virginia, found the perfect little house to call home, and Parker is officially through with flight school. We are popping the champagne bottles and loving this season of our lives.
Coming off of the winging ceremony and then driving to Virginia a couple of days later, Parker and I were on such a high. Everything seemed so easy and perfect, and I felt on top of everything that was thrown my way. And then, life happened. Nothing bad happened, but life happened. We found out Parker would be the only aviator of his friends and classmates to report for duty immediately, which zapped our hopes of taking a little vacation for our anniversary. We found out Parker is going to fly the E-2D, and we couldn't be more excited. This seems like the perfect plane for Parker, and I feel like God has us right where he wants us. With this plane selection, we also found out that we have two options after our year in Virginia: We stay in Virginia, or we go to Japan. Our long time hopes of getting stationed in San Diego were slashed, and we suddenly have a 50/50 shot of going somewhere I never, ever planned: Japan.
Everyone that goes to Japan absolutely loves it. I have never talked to a military spouse who spent time in Japan that did not adore her time there. So many military couples dream of going to Japan, but I never have. Japan would mean giving up my job, saying goodbye to our families, and likely having our first child overseas. It would be a wonderful adventure, but it isn't one that I have ever wanted to experience, at least not right now.
It's also started to sink in that Parker could deploy as soon as a year from now. I'm not naive. I know the military life comes with deployments, but they've never felt imminent like they do right now. Suddenly, I miss the safety net that flight school offered. It may not have been easy, but it meant falling asleep next to my husband every night. I'll take it.
The thing is, God has never abandoned us, and I have never felt like we were in a place God didn't want us to be in. He has so carefully orchestrated and planned our lives to be so much greater than we could ever dream of. If we end up in Japan, it just means God's plans are bigger than my own. If we end up in Japan, it will be a wonderful adventure. If Parker deploys sooner than later, we are strong enough to handle it. If our first child is born overseas, that baby is going to have one heck of a cool story. Life is happening, we can't stop it, and I don't want to. I find myself saying the same phrase I have every time life has thrown us for a curve and placed us somewhere we didn't expect.
Lord, not our will, but Yours.