I have been really blessed in my life. In 26 years, losing my daughter was the first really difficult loss I ever encountered. But boy, did it hit me like a ton of bricks. There was no way to predict how I was going to handle the grieving process because this was such foreign territory for me. Each day has been another step in this new, unprecedented journey.
Most of us have encountered loss in our lives, and we all handle it a little differently. I've decided grieving is kind of like eating a Reese's. There's no wrong way to do it. Do you remember those commercials about people eating Reese's Peanut Butter Cups in strange ways with the caption "There's no wrong way to eat a Reese's."? If not, just side step the analogy. In all seriousness though, grieving is an independent journey.
I recently saw a Facebook status from a woman who suffered a miscarriage. She was essentially scolding those who have chosen to keep miscarriages private, alluding to the fact that they aren't brave enough to admit it to the rest of the world. I really hated that. We are all different people with different personalities. Some of us choose to internalize grief while others heal through outward expression. It's not about the right way to grieve: it's about the right way to grieve for you.
I have been really open about our loss, and that was always my intent. I hoped that some good could come from sharing our story with Taylor, and writing about it has been extremely cathartic. That doesn't mean everyone has to do what I did. There are plenty of people who miscarry children and never tell a soul, and that's okay.
The point of this post is that I think there is grace in grieving. We all have unique ways of navigating difficult journeys. Sharing versus internalizing has nothing to do with being brave. It's just two different ways of handling things, and I think it's our job to respect rather than criticize.
We live in a very judgmental, critical world. Go be the difference!