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One Dream For Another

Very few people grow up dreaming of being a military spouse. On paper, the concept of marrying someone who is going to do something dangerous on a daily basis and leave for months at a time sounds less than appealing. I'm always the first to say that this is not the lifestyle I had picked out for myself. I wanted to be married with kids and the whole enchilada, but the military aspect of that never quite made its way onto my dream board. 

I think one of the biggest preconceived notions about being a military spouse is that you will have to give up your dreams. Whether it be career, location, or lifestyle, the military will now dictate it all, and the planning and dreaming you've been doing is wiped clean. While that's an extreme way of putting it, I'm not here to argue with this. You very well will have to give up a dream.

In the back of my mind, I always thought going to law school would have been really neat. Would I have actually done it? I'm not sure, but there is a chance I would have tried had Parker not been in the picture. That would have been a neat dream, but I quickly withdrew it from the running when I decided to marry Parker. 



I also always wanted to get married, settle down in the motherland (Texas), and have kids young. "Young" is a very relative term here, but I loved the idea of being married for a couple of years and then having kids. I wanted to be between 24 and 26 when we had our first. Being a mom has always been the ultimate dream in my mind, and while the military isn't stopping that dream, it sure as heck is dictating the timeline. There is no way we would still be waiting if it weren't for extenuating circumstances due to the military. 

No matter what your situation looks like, if you're a military spouse, you've had to sacrifice something. Heck, if you're a spouse, you've had to sacrifice something. That's just married life, plain and simple. But do you know what? You've also gained something really beautiful. This lifestyle isn't always easy and is certainly not for everyone, but it can be so, so awesome. Traveling the world, meeting new people, experiencing new things... it's all a dream.

If you're a newlywed military spouse or even just dating someone in the military, my point in all of this rambling is this: Don't be scared by what you have to give up. Be excited for what you are gaining. In marrying my husband, I traded one dream for another, and I wouldn't have it any other way.  


 

17 comments :

Elizabeth Banks said...

I love this post! It was exactly what I needed to read/hear this morning... so thank you!!! :)

Jenn @ Lost in the Right Direction said...

This was a great read. My husband just left for basic training in the army two weeks ago. I'm actually really looking forward to military life (minus the deployments). My husband and I are both a bit older (26 and 32) and I've already done the college thing and we've been in kind of a rut, so I feel like we're gaining more than we're losing. It's definitely going to open doors for him if he decides to get out after his first contract is up.

Melissa said...

So so true! I definitely had the adjustment period when my husband and I started dating, but I was lucky enough to continue my career in a work from home capacity. It's a slightly different dream, but I wouldn't change it for the world :)

Nicole B. said...

Ah, so needed to hear this too. Living in the Southwest, 2000 miles from family, not being in grad school.. tough stuff. But I love him. And us! One dream for the other.

Nicole B. said...

Ah, so needed to hear this too. Living in the Southwest, 2000 miles from family, not being in grad school.. tough stuff. But I love him. And us! One dream for the other.

Caravan Sonnet said...

I LOVED this post!! Beautifully said lady!!! Thank you so much for sharing!!
:) Rebecca

Amanda Marie said...

I really needed this. You have such a great attitude. Thank you for posting this today.

Julie Danielle said...

This is so true. We might have had to give up things but we also gain them. Things we never would have been able to experience if our spouse was not in the Military.

Bailey Kay said...

Girl you SO wrote this post for me! ;) I'm feeling a lot better and less anxious about changing my dreams to mesh with Andy's dreams as well.

Jen said...

I absolutely love this!! Kyle and I are building new dreams together and it has been amazing, one dream can end and new ones can begin. :)

Joslin said...

I think you're absolutely right. I lost some opportunities when I married Cass and I gained so much more than I could have ever imagined. The travel opportunities alone eclipses everything I gave up.

Emily Stewart said...

Well said, friend! Maybe in 15 years or so we'll both be living in the motherland and our friends can be best friends. Just saying! Oh and it's looking like Norfolk is becoming more and more of an option so maybe we'll get our wish even sooner! I don't hate it!

Janelle Cook said...

I love this! There are opportunities on both sides, and being a military spouse has been really fun so far for me!

Jennifer Venrick said...

This is such a wonderful post! I am a new Army wife, and I have given up a lot to be where I am. But, like you said, I've gained so much more than I ever even dreamed of. This lifestyle is crazy, but it's so exciting and full of adventure!

Lisa C said...

My life dreams (medical school) went out the window before I met Mac (hello, failing organic chemistry in college). But as time has gone on, I continually realize that being with Mac has been better than any dream I ever dreamed for my life.

thatmjgirl said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ashley @ A Cute Angle said...

I really enjoyed reading this. I think a lot of people see marriage as giving up dreams. I don't! I may not have the same dreams as before, but I have different and exciting ones now. And it was all worth changing the plan to be with Nick!

Ashley
acutelifestyle.blogspot.com

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