Side note, why can't I still be in my early 20s?! Insert crying emoji here.
Mexican theme. Always go with the Mexican theme. Guacamole, mustaches, guacamole, pinatas, and guacamole. Enough said. But did I mention the guacamole?
Instead of alcohol, you are drinking all the water. You know what those beverages do to you and you aren't allowed to sleep all day the next day because you actually have to adult.
The pre-party goes until 11 PM, and then you will transport to the bars. Must prepare mentally. You do not get to go to bed at 11. I repeat, you do not get to go to bed at 11.
Going to the bars in a group of all girls vice going with your husband/boyfriend/whatever is a very different experience.
The bars play a disappointingly low number of Taylor Swift songs. Prepare yourself for the struggle.
Why can't it be cool to wear sneakers to a dance club? Dancing until 2 AM in sky high heels is for the birds!
When you finally get home around 3 AM from an epic night of dancing the night away, you will be faced with the grueling choice of sleep versus food. You choose food. Obviously.
You remember that your husband and pup have been asleep for hours and sincerely hope said husband remembered to feed them both dinner.
You've had your food and are ready for bed! It's 4:30 AM. You set the alarm for 8:30 AM, because remember what we discussed at the beginning? You actually have to adult tomorrow.
8:30 AM, how on earth did you get here so quickly? You may be sleep deprived and completely delirious, but you are so thankful for girlfriends. A girl needs girlfriends. Boom. End of story.