Good grief, where to even begin with this story? I'll preface this by saying math is not really my strong suit. I was in the harder maths in high school and did fine, but I have always been more of an English/Language Arts person. Not being a math person is no excuse for what you are about to read, but I thought I would lead with that to come out with a small shred of dignity, if that's even possible here.
So this happened...
Parker and I were laying in bed with Jenny talking about how cute she is. You know, the usual. Suddenly I sat up and realized I had forgotten to celebrate her half birthday. Bad puppy parent! If you've read my blog long, you know that I think a half birthday should be a real thing. I quickly wished her happy half birthday and said "whoopsies" and moved on.
Then I decided to have a moment to make myself feel better and ask Parker if he knew when her half birthday was. I was pretty sure he would get it wrong, and he did, or so I thought. Here is how the conversation went from there:
Parker: "Ummm January 3rd. No 4th!"
Chelsea: "Wrong on both accounts! Geez, and you say you love her."
Parker: "Shoot, well when is it then?"
Chelsea: "Well her birthday is July 5th, so let's see that math minor at work."
Parker: "January 5th! January 5th. I was close."
Chelsea: "No, I told you no part of your first answer was right. It's February 5th. That's six months before/after July 5th. Geez husband!"
So feeling satisfied that I outwitted my husband and somewhat confused as to why this concept was so hard for him, I went back to playing with Jenny and checking up on social media. Parker was still was confused as to how he was wrong, so he went to get a pen and paper and try to understand. Again, I still couldn't see how this was so hard for him to understand. At this point I'm rethinking that English has always been my strong suit and deciding maybe I'm a mathematical genius. After all, Parker is great at math and I am outsmarting him, so I must be brilliant.
A few minutes pass and I had almost forgotten about the conversation when he comes back in the room. This is how that went down:
Parker: "You're wrong! Six months before July 5th is January 5th. Look, I've even got proof on the Internet because I know you won't believe me."
Chelsea: "What?!? But...oh my gosh, I'm wrong?!"
*stupified, with all dignity out the window, I do some finger counting
Good grief, he was right. I was totally wrong. All these years we have been celebrating Jenny's half birthday the wrong month. And then, the ultimate parent failure happened. Parker and I sort of realized it at the same time and looked at each other and just went into hysterics. Why? Well, we adopted Jenny February 5th and then decided her birthday would be 6 months from that day. If she was adopted February 5th, then her actual birthday is August 5th...
We've celebrated her birthday on the wrong day for 3 years!!!
I guess I did the math right away when we adopted her and Parker just never thought to stop and check me. This was a real low point, intellectually speaking. We are still going to celebrate Jenny's birthday on July 5th because that's how we have always done it, but I know every birthday this conversation will resurface. I'll never live this one down. And the worst part? My birthday is in February, therefore my half birthday is in August. I knew this, so why when Jenny's half birthday is February did I not immediately go to August as her real birthday? I don't know. It's just bad.
Sorry Jenny. So glad you're a dog and have no concept of time. Apparently you and I share that.