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Not Now

I wrote a couple of weeks ago about how I struggle with things not being fair. God didn't promise us a life based on fairness, yet it's something I always have and probably always will struggle with. Well, apparently I am just in the mood to share my weaknesses and shortcomings on the interwebs, because today I am going to talk about the number two thing I struggle with: waiting.

I've always been a planner. I want to know when I am doing something, for how long, and with whom I am doing it. I want to know everything and be prepared so that my activity goes exactly as planned without one little hiccup. The Navy has helped kick some of that planning instinct to the curb since any military couple will tell you it's almost not even worth planning things in our lifestyle. Even with my more relaxed mindset, I still want things to happen on my own timeline. The narcissist in me thinks I know what's best for my life and exactly when and how things should take place. Sometimes my plans are in line with God's, like when I met my husband in college like I had always hoped I would. Other times, God has something totally different planned, like the time we found out our course in the Navy would be very different from what we originally planned.


"In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps." - Proverbs 16:9

With each day that passes, I learn to give a little more control to God and accept the fact that He is the author of my life. I'll never be perfect though. I've learned that waiting for God's will to be revealed is the ultimate test of faith.

Waiting for the right time to start a family when so many of my peers got pregnant a couple of years ago is tough. Waiting for our course in the Navy to be revealed and to get an idea of what the next 10-20 years will look like is tough. The toughest? Waiting for healing, waiting for a miracle. The Bible tells us that we will be fully healed and made whole in heaven. No more pain, no more hardships, no more suffering. The Bible doesn't, however, promise healing on this Earth. Sometimes God chooses to perform great miracles of healing, miracles that reveal His power and prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that He was behind it. Other times, God says "Not now".

"He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away." - Revelation 21:4

This verse fills me with so much hope because I know that one day, all pain will be gone and the ultimate healing will be performed on all who have accepted Christ. That time may be days, weeks, or years away, but it's not now. If you're reading this, then that time for you is not now. As much as I pray and plead for healing and miracles, the Lord's timeline is not my own. I know I can only see a part of the picture He is painting in my life. I know I am promised a future and a hope in Heaven. I know my loved ones will be fully restored and healed one day. I know all of this. It's still hard though. It's still hard when the Lord's answer is "Not now".

There have been many times in my life where God said "Not now", and man am I glad He did. He could see the big picture then, and He can see the big picture now. 

Happy Friday friends. I hope you all have a wonderful weekend :)
 
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21 comments :

Rachel Lynn said...

Loved this post! I am very much the same-planning type a sort. The military has definitely made me re-think that and work harder on relying on God and His timing.

The Girl who Loved to Write said...

The last sentence of this sums it all up. I'm still trying to learn this!

The Grits Blog said...

This is such an awesome post and every word is SO true. It's amazing how God's planning may not be in line with what we want right now, but in the end it always works out according to HIS plan and is just right for us. Hope that makes sense!

Ashley said...

I am such a planner too. It's so nice to have reminders that God does have a plan and everything will happen at the correct time even if we don't see that.

Sarah Walters said...

Love this post! It's been something I've been struggling with a lot lately,but God's plan is always great than our own. Like you said God saw the bigger picture then and He sees the bigger picture! Praying for you during this season of waiting!

Sarah Catherine said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sarah Catherine said...

I appreciate your honesty and openness. I am right there with you struggling to wait on God's timing. In the midst of the waiting it can be torture, but once the waiting is over it's always worth it. God is so good!
http://sarahpoppylove.blogspot.com/

Mrs. M ~ a.k.a. ~ April said...

Girl, yes waiting is hard! I think you read a little about my story on my miscarriage. From there I planned to see this doctor and that doctor, call the pharmacy to get medication, do this or that so that Adam and I can have a baby! It got to be very stressful. It felt like when I moved this way, there was a road block. I think, for me, it was God's way of telling me to chill and really trust Him. He is so gracious to bring women into my life that are going through the same thing and even speaking from His word, that He's "got this" and that He has a plan. It's hard to wait but with His help, that's all I can do until He directs me otherwise. Thank you so much for sharing your heart in this area!

Jen said...

I can relate to this so much, there is nothing worse than waiting. Hugs!

Ruthie Hart said...

Nothing is harder than letting go and letting him orchestrate the delicate trappings of your life. We didn't start a family when we thought we should have, the Lord told us sooner which scared the heck out of me and now I see so much of His provisions in my life. Whether it is NOW or WAIT, The Lord is speaking to your heart and I am so glad you are there with an open ear

Kerry @ Till Then Smile Often said...

I am such a Type A planner and I hate waiting I want to just do it! Sometimes life just happens and we have to give up control.

Hana R said...

What a great post and a reminder to me as well! I HATE the fact that I can't control military life, so I overcompensate by trying to control EVERYTHING else in my life with my days, the kids, routine, etc. Seriously, my day is planned to the minute by a schedule. Sometimes, I just gotta let go, and let God. That's tough! Good for you for acknowledging an area in your life that you struggle with!

Charity said...

I can totally empathize with you. It's a great thing to remind ourselves that God can see much more of our lives than we can. Thanks for sharing that.

Kate at Green Fashionista said...

It's so frustrating when God is saying "not now", but it always works out for the best in the end. His timing is always perfect *hugs*.

Night Owl said...

Waiting is definitely hard. But....Gods plan is way better than our plan. I'm definitely learning that.

Abi and Hannah said...

Wow, I don't think you can even understand how much that has encouraged me! I'm going through some complicated stuff right now, and I keep thinking "why can't it all be sorted". Thank you so much for reminding me that God's ways are perfect and that waiting is just all part of his plan!

Traci@TheHallway said...

I am the exact same way. The worst part is my husband is a total planner as well, so we have it 10 fold! haha! I honestly think being in the military has made it a little worst... because you can't always "plan" exactly like you want, so then you plan out about 5 different "plans", hoping one will be the right one, but that has helped us in so many ways, because it gives you different perspectives and outlooks of what could or might happen. But at the end of the day, God always knows!!! :)

Joi Body said...

This was an amazing post! It shows me how similar we are. My fiancé just joined the Navy and in May he leaves for Basic. Like you, I've always been a planner and everything needs to be in its place. I also hate waiting, if I could control how I wanted things I would never wait. It seems now I am just grasping the concept that I can't always plan things the way I want them. God has a plan for us both and I just need to be patient. Thanks for sharing your weaknesses and shortcomings because others just like me needed that inspiration and guidance.

P.S. I love the bible verse you used, Proverbs 16:9.

Keep pushing forward :)

Bailey @ Becoming Bailey said...

I love this post! It's so hard when things in this life are really rough: illnesses, financial difficulties, etc. God never promised we would be completely healthy and rich on this Earth, just that if we follow Him we will have eternal life and there will be a day with no more pain and suffering. I can't wait for that day to come!

Caroline said...

Thanks for sharing! Waiting is what I write about 90% of the time ;) I too can't wait until there is no more pain and no more tears!

Rachel said...

That waiting and not knowing what's coming next part is hard! But how awesome that we have a God we know is worthy of trust!

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